Category: relationships

Ehm. A little bit corny, but still …

Everyday I feel blessed and I think that we are so lucky to have met each other. I’ve never met any other man who is as patient, and kind and as comforting as you are. I feel safe with you and you’ve made me open up and made me view the world in a more receptive way.

It’s funny how I get impatient with the people I care the most. And there are days when I get annoyed or sometimes angry with you. And sometimes there are things that I wish I could change about you. Nevertheless you never fight my fire or get cross with me. I don’t even remember a time in our years together when you shouted at me. Instead, you let me mellow out in my own way.

And I can tell you anything. Anything! Even the most ridiculous things like cosmetics and celebrity gossip without feeling like you’re judging me. And instead you engage me patiently, asking me questions to show me that you heard and understood me.

We are such different people, you and I. But in some of the things that we are weak at, we support each other in our strengths. I think we fit each other so well and it’s been a great relationship so far.

Ti amo!

So … Cart had to be out of town for work for three days, and I dropped him at the airport early yesterday morning. And suddenly I feel like a bachelorette again. Hahaha!

Don’t get me wrong, while I do miss him, I’m surprised at how err … relaxing it feels.

Starting off with driving back home. After all the years of going to school early morning, made me appreciate travelling at this time. This was the time to reflect and you think to yourself that a new day is starting and new adventures await you. And I felt so tranquil going down the highway with hardly any other drivers and greeted by the glorious golden sun rising past the purples and blues.

And when I reached home, I finally managed to rearrange most of Cart’s stuff like laundry, comics and whatnots that has been lying around and polluting my eyes. But whenever I try to move it, he’d complain and say, “No! Let me deal with it!” But gets distracted and forgets about it for weeks straight. Well, he’s not here to stop me now :p

After that, it motivated me to do a lot of other things. When I was done, looking at the clock, I was surprised at how much chores that I managed to accomplish, before Cart normally leaves for work. I normally don’t like to do housework when there is anyone around because I tend to find them to get in the way.

Anyway! Following that, I went on my regular Tuesdays routine like going jogging (by the way, I intend to participate in a half marathon come Feb next year. Anyone wants to join me? Do you think I’d be ready by then?) and then cooking a carnivour’s lunch (Cart’s vegetarian) and then tutoring in the evening.

But I think it’s more in the evening that I feel his absence most felt, as he’d be home at this time and we’d have dinner together and then have a cuddle in front of the TV. I’d faint on the sofa by the time the clock strikes 10 and the next thing I’d remember would be Cart waking me up to drag me to bed at 3 am. In that state of confusion, sometimes I don’t even brush my teeth and wash my face. Such a bad habit I started since we got married!

And so last night, it was such a proud moment for me (not such a spectacular accomplishment, BUT STILL!) to be able to wash, tone and moisturise then brush my teeth and put on my pyjamas and be in bed around 11 pm.

But the house was eerily quiet. Growing up in a family of 6, I’ve never had the experience of spending the night completely alone. And I get a little paranoid after watching horror shows like The Ring some years back. Moreover, I sometimes suffer from sleep paralysis which can be unnerving. So I just switched on some online radio, tuned in to Food Paradise on the netbook (to simulate the telly, which tends to lull me to sleep) and hoped for the best.

Well, I managed to get some sleep. And now I’m up blogging and in a while, I’m off for today’s adventures … pretending I’m a bachelorette :p

Update : Turns out that my plan of exploring had to be postponed as there were violent rioting going on … PLUS the flooding from Venice is starting to affect Rome too. YIKES!

How time flies. It seems not too long ago when I first met you in 2oo4 in the digital realms of Secondlife.

And after several years of LDR, we finally took the plunge to get married. 18th December. Exactly a year two years ago today!

Happy anniversary my dearest Cartcart. I love you very very much

Updated : Ok, ok. We got married two years ago. Cant blame me for mixing up the dates. I’ve got a good excuse. I’m jetlagged 😛

I know its bad to think bad of others, especially your partner, but sometimes this is what I think what Cart is thinking

Sidenote : What is with the cough virus bout going on? I’ve been sick for over a week now! Is annoying!

Thursday, 18 December 2008

Woke up groggy after sleeping on the floor the entire night as to preserve the henna and the mad rush from the day before – retrieving the rings and having them engraved, last minute buying of gifts for our gift exchange, the dinner with Cart’s family as well as finally getting and preparing my outfit for my solemnization.

That was something that I was extremely angry about. For weeks my mum and I had been trying to contact the Mak Andam for updates on my upcoming solemnization. We’ve booked her months in advance. But as the days grow closer, she did not make any initiative to call us, and when we called her back, there was no reply from her handphone nor her house number.

I was already getting worried. I wanted to know what the deal was and finalize the type of photoshoot that I wanted.

It was only a day before my solemnization was that mum and I were able to get a hold of her. When I arrived at her place, she started to mention that she has been sick and that her house phone was disconnected and that her handphone was spoiled. Which actually was an extremely lame excuse. If she had the initiative, she could have used dozens of other methods to contact my mum or me.

But at the point of time, I was just relieved to have gotten my dress, even failing to notice that she did not adjust the dress to fit me, or even bothered to iron it. But I should have seen the red flags to come.

Regardless, it was Cart and my big day. It was exactly 4 years since we first tied the knot in secondlife and we were to do it for real.

I was feeling very excited. Already there were a bustling of activity outside my room, with the cooking and my family and relatives going about. I kept myself busy with making the room more “bride-like”.

This was my room with the gift exchange. My mum sewed the bedspread and the curtains!

In the afternoon, my good friend Juli arrived to do my make up. It was a pact that we did, back in school for her to do my make-up, I saw so much talent in her when she was doing her make up so I booked her, way before I even met my husband!

Hema was there too, to give moral support on my big day. I’m so happy that my two best friends where there and we had loads of girly fun with the make up and gossiping over things.

And then I was done!

Take a look at the before – totally stoned

And the after – fresh, radiant bride.

But we were hurrying for time and and not too long after, it was already time for my solemnization ceremony. While typically, a Malay solemnization would be held at home, I thought that it would be something special to have it at Assyakirin Mosque.

There were already a number of people there when I arrived. I saw my family and relatives, as well as Mum’s friends who acted as Cart’s side of the family. Cart was already there, sitting at the table across me with my dad, the kadi and the two witnesses.

I was ushered to sit down. Juli and Hema were asked to sit next to me and they were flabbergasted because they did not expect to be my best women and were not dressed up. I didn’t realise that I needed one even)

The kadi started a prayer and then approached me, asking if I agreed to the marriage – which is a final question to ensure that I wasn’t forced into it.

And then it was Cart’s turn.

The Kadi told Cart of his responsibilities as a husband. Then my dad grasped Cart’s hand and gave me away and Cart had to recite the akad nikah and end it with a firm hand shake.

Cart’s beard was very ticklish

And so it was official! Cart and I were officially married! There were a flurry of congratulations, picture taking, video taking … there were so much flash that we were like celebrities with the amount of people asking to take a picture with us.

Here is a short video of our solemnization.

When we reached back home, we had a marhaban singing for us. And after enjoying the music, the first thing that I did as a wife, was to pass out on the bed

• Part 1 – The ROMM Interview
• Part 2 – The Marriage Guidance Course
• Part 3 – The Solemnization
• Part 4 – The Wedding Dinner
• Part 5 – The Bersanding

Happy belated valentines day to you!

Last Saturday was actually the first time that I celebrated San Valentino with Cartcart due to the both of us being in a long distance relationship for the past four years. It was a simple date, just the two of us spending time together in Trastevere and then watching a movie.

Rinaz with the poet Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli

We watched the curious case of Benjamin Button. Granted that it was in Italian, nevertheless I still enjoyed the movie as well as Cart’s company for the entire day.

Il curioso caso di Benjamin Button

In any case, if you are in Italy around San Valentino, it would be hard not to notice Baci Chocolates for sale. There are so many of them in different sorts of packaging – some wrapped with flowers, some with bears, some are even in lock shapes.

Baci means Kisses in Italian

And this reminded me of the day when Cart and I visited Ponte Milvio a few years ago.

Ponte Milvio is an interesting place where you could see a plentiful of locks on each lamppost. And if you look carefully, on each lock will be the name of a pair of couple.

There is a custom here where you write your name as well as your partner’s name on the lock. Secure the lock on the lamppost and throw the key away in the Tiber River below so that your relationship can never be broken.

I’m still a little cynical about the whole thing, but ah, its for the charm of it all. For those who are not too near to Rome, you might want to do it online! Try to spot my lock near the yellow lights.

So, how did you spend your Valentine’s day?

Sidenote : I think I’m getting used to learning Italian now. Previously I felt like vomitting when I went for class, today I just feel ill

According to Statistics Singapore, the number of divorce rates has been on an increase. There was a stage when 1 out of 3 marriages will end up in a divorce.

This trend was a concern for the Muslim organization bodies in Singapore such that for the past 15 years or so, they have been implementing a compulsory marriage preparatory course for all Muslim marriages in Singapore to prepare and educate future marriages for the prevention of divorces.

Recently, I’ve attended and completed the marriage preparatory course at the Assyakirin Mosque. Prior to this, I did not realise that it was mandatory. I assumed that that the course was for knowledge for keeping a happy marriage. Thus, I did not have much expectations.

When I attended my first lesson, early Sunday morning, I was greeted by the staff-helpers at the mosque and was handed a schedule, a bridal magazine as well as the course textbook. I flipped through the textbook and though it was not thick, it looked comprehensive with the different modules laid out.

In my book, there were 8 modules altogether which was presented and discussed in depth by our various coaches from Kasih Sejati. The modules were as follows :

1. Personality analysis
2. Knowing the in-laws, money matters and wedding plans
3. Understanding solemnization and responsibilities of a wife and husband
4. The meaning of love, sex and intimacy
5. Challenges during marriage
6. Preparing for a family
7. Communication and the language of love
8. Conflict and resolution

I thought that the lessons were interesting and I realised at how unprepared I was before. I learnt a fair bit of information which I think will be useful in preparing myself for my future.

The entire course ended with each of us writing a love letter for our partners with words of affection, hopes and encouragement for our future which I thought that was very sweet.

I found out later that it was a requirement for all Muslim Marriages to be certified with a marriage preparatory course certification regardless of what nationality they are. Hence when Cart arrives here in Singapore in December, we’ll be taking it together before our solemnization.

I think it will be a learning experience for the both of us.

Related links :

• Kasih Sejati training center
• Find statistical data regarding Singapore
• Assyakirin Mosque website