Thursday, 18 December 2008
Woke up groggy after sleeping on the floor the entire night as to preserve the henna and the mad rush from the day before – retrieving the rings and having them engraved, last minute buying of gifts for our gift exchange, the dinner with Cart’s family as well as finally getting and preparing my outfit for my solemnization.
That was something that I was extremely angry about. For weeks my mum and I had been trying to contact the Mak Andam for updates on my upcoming solemnization. We’ve booked her months in advance. But as the days grow closer, she did not make any initiative to call us, and when we called her back, there was no reply from her handphone nor her house number.
I was already getting worried. I wanted to know what the deal was and finalize the type of photoshoot that I wanted.
It was only a day before my solemnization was that mum and I were able to get a hold of her. When I arrived at her place, she started to mention that she has been sick and that her house phone was disconnected and that her handphone was spoiled. Which actually was an extremely lame excuse. If she had the initiative, she could have used dozens of other methods to contact my mum or me.
But at the point of time, I was just relieved to have gotten my dress, even failing to notice that she did not adjust the dress to fit me, or even bothered to iron it. But I should have seen the red flags to come.
Regardless, it was Cart and my big day. It was exactly 4 years since we first tied the knot in secondlife and we were to do it for real.
I was feeling very excited. Already there were a bustling of activity outside my room, with the cooking and my family and relatives going about. I kept myself busy with making the room more “bride-like”.
This was my room with the gift exchange. My mum sewed the bedspread and the curtains!
In the afternoon, my good friend Juli arrived to do my make up. It was a pact that we did, back in school for her to do my make-up, I saw so much talent in her when she was doing her make up so I booked her, way before I even met my husband!
Hema was there too, to give moral support on my big day. I’m so happy that my two best friends where there and we had loads of girly fun with the make up and gossiping over things.
And then I was done!
Take a look at the before – totally stoned
And the after – fresh, radiant bride.
But we were hurrying for time and and not too long after, it was already time for my solemnization ceremony. While typically, a Malay solemnization would be held at home, I thought that it would be something special to have it at Assyakirin Mosque.
There were already a number of people there when I arrived. I saw my family and relatives, as well as Mum’s friends who acted as Cart’s side of the family. Cart was already there, sitting at the table across me with my dad, the kadi and the two witnesses.
I was ushered to sit down. Juli and Hema were asked to sit next to me and they were flabbergasted because they did not expect to be my best women and were not dressed up. I didn’t realise that I needed one even)
The kadi started a prayer and then approached me, asking if I agreed to the marriage – which is a final question to ensure that I wasn’t forced into it.
And then it was Cart’s turn.
The Kadi told Cart of his responsibilities as a husband. Then my dad grasped Cart’s hand and gave me away and Cart had to recite the akad nikah and end it with a firm hand shake.
Cart’s beard was very ticklish
And so it was official! Cart and I were officially married! There were a flurry of congratulations, picture taking, video taking … there were so much flash that we were like celebrities with the amount of people asking to take a picture with us.
Here is a short video of our solemnization.
When we reached back home, we had a marhaban singing for us. And after enjoying the music, the first thing that I did as a wife, was to pass out on the bed 
so complex, Muslim marriages! i intend to keep mine short, sweet, and simple, just a few close friends, and my parents, and my sisters (and their husbands / boyfriends).
will have a small reception afterwards but not a full dinner like urs! i think i’ll be too overwhelmed. haha.
and about ur dress, u still looked beautiful in it. 🙂 *hugs*
hoho, that was some hectic stuff going on.
Daphne Maia
I also! But the thing about close friends, parents and relatives is that it would at least be 300 😛 Hehehehehe
Nazry
Thanks for everything lah, really could not have made it without you 🙂
wahahaha! I remember having to sleep on the floor the night before my nikah also! cos the bed was full of the barang hantaran. so sad right….bed all so nicely made up but cannot sleep in it!
Haha, same as me. But I dont think I’d like to sleep on the bed anyways as my mum decorated the bedspread with pearls and its just that comfortable to sleep on that way 😛
Hi, Rinaz!
That’s a great post! To me, as a foreigner, getting married to malay singaporean it is very usefull, coz don’t know what to expect from solemnisation. 🙂
May I ask you – how did you book the solemnisation date and Kadi? Online or in person?
I’m having difficulties with doing it online (fully booked) and don’t know if approaching ROMM in person will be any better.
Thanks in advance.
Hi Yasmin,
I booked the solemnization date months in advance on the ROMM website because there is a risk that there might not be any kadi to solemnize it if booked too late.
But no worries, you dont need to check only for one area. Lets say you are living on the west, you can also check North, East and South area for any available kadis 🙂
If that doesnt work, you could always ask any officer on the phone. They are always very helpful to me when I called them up 🙂
Let me know how it turns out!
Hi, Rinaz,
thank you for very fast reply! 🙂 I didn’t expect. 🙂
I thought I can book Kadi exculively on the website? Or, maybe the rules have changed. i’m very new to it… and was shoked when saw ROMM fully bucked from now till end of November. 🙂
I will try to approach Kadis individualy. Maybe it will be more efficient. 🙂
thanks again!
Missing my husband right now…but a wedding picture giving a smile once awhile…missing him so much..:)