My experience at a marriage preparatory course

According to Statistics Singapore, the number of divorce rates has been on an increase. There was a stage when 1 out of 3 marriages will end up in a divorce.

This trend was a concern for the Muslim organization bodies in Singapore such that for the past 15 years or so, they have been implementing a compulsory marriage preparatory course for all Muslim marriages in Singapore to prepare and educate future marriages for the prevention of divorces.

Recently, I’ve attended and completed the marriage preparatory course at the Assyakirin Mosque. Prior to this, I did not realise that it was mandatory. I assumed that that the course was for knowledge for keeping a happy marriage. Thus, I did not have much expectations.

When I attended my first lesson, early Sunday morning, I was greeted by the staff-helpers at the mosque and was handed a schedule, a bridal magazine as well as the course textbook. I flipped through the textbook and though it was not thick, it looked comprehensive with the different modules laid out.

In my book, there were 8 modules altogether which was presented and discussed in depth by our various coaches from Kasih Sejati. The modules were as follows :

  1. Personality analysis
  2. Knowing the in-laws, money matters and wedding plans
  3. Understanding solemnization and responsibilities of a wife and husband
  4. The meaning of love, sex and intimacy
  5. Challenges during marriage
  6. Preparing for a family
  7. Communication and the language of love
  8. Conflict and resolution

I thought that the lessons were interesting and I realised at how unprepared I was before. I learnt a fair bit of information which I think will be useful in preparing myself for my future.

The entire course ended with each of us writing a love letter for our partners with words of affection, hopes and encouragement for our future which I thought that was very sweet.

I found out later that it was a requirement for all Muslim Marriages to be certified with a marriage preparatory course certification regardless of what nationality they are. Hence when Cart arrives here in Singapore in December, we’ll be taking it together before our solemnization.

I think it will be a learning experience for the both of us.

Related links :

18 thoughts on “My experience at a marriage preparatory course”

  1. Hi Rinaz, I too been to a similar MPC course before organise by the Catholic Community here. And it was really fun to learn about all the stuff to keep a happy marriage.

    a_x: MPC is also mandatory for Catholic marriages cos in order to get marry in a Catholic Church the couple need to produce a MPC cert.

  2. a_x

    How scandalous!

    Hahaha! Its not like I’m snapping pictures all of the time. Its a two full Sunday course from 9am – 6pm and I took about only a couple of pics πŸ™‚

    Kriscell

    I did not know that it was mandatory for Catholics to undertake the marriage preparatory courses too. I assumed that it was compulsory for muslim marriages only.

    Ah, thank you for the information πŸ™‚

  3. Hey…been reading your blog for quite awhile…I was a fellow schoolmate of yours in JI….

    Anywho, we we sought of in your situation where me (the wife) was able to take the full long 2 days course, the husband was overseas and only had time to come back for the wedding. We found a MPC class at a Muslim bookstore (near Zam Zam Murtabak) which is credited by the state. It was a one to one few hours one day affair class.

    We were really desperate for time but it will be beneficial for Cart and you to take the one at Darul Arqam if time permits….good luck.

  4. Hey Rinaz, I’m sure the MPC is such an eye-opener.

    Most protestant churches make it mandatory as well. Both my church in KL and my church in Singapore (Cornerstone Community Church) made it mandatory for their members.

    Pastors feel responsible that when they marry you off, they should have at least prepared you for the days ahead.

    PS: One book they highly recommend is the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman which is also a huge eye-opener for many.

  5. Great to know that you are taking affirmative steps in your road to wedded bliss. As you would learn along the way, getting married requires significant discipline and forward planning after the initial buzz of love starts fading. Of course, one can always find new ways to keep the romance alive, but it isn’t just always about affection and intimacy. πŸ˜‰

  6. one step closer! whee~
    yes it’s compulsory for catholics too~ hahaha..
    my turn will be up laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaater. =P as in at least 5 years from now. =P

  7. Precious

    Ah! I was not aware that Protestants make the marriage preparatory classes mandatory too. Thank you for that πŸ™‚

    By the way, during the course, one of the section was about ‘Language of love’ and it covered briefly about the 5 different ones.

    But I am looking forward to reading the actual book. I think I need more information than that … hahahaha

    Mintea

    Possibly Cart could go to Darul Arqam too since he went to take his conversion classes there. The mosque gave me another contact though, the one near Sultan mosque. They say that it is a one day course.

    Hmm … I need to contemplate

    LLI

    Wow! Are we in the same batch? Maybe we’ve met each other before? What a small world!

    Thanks! I’ll keep your advice into consideration. So far, there are two options : One is the MPC by Darul Arqam which is recommended by you as well as Mintea whom commented earlier or the one called Apkim which was referred to by the Assyakirin mosque.

    Need time to contemplate πŸ™‚

    Tianhong

    As you like, lah πŸ˜› Hehehe

    Walter

    Indeed πŸ™‚

    There was an article in the discovery magazine whereby it was scientifically proven that someone who has just fallen in love actually has a strong chemical reaction in the brain that makes a person crazy over their partners.

    After the initial stage and as they get to know each other, the chemicals grow lesser as they fall into their positions and get along with each other πŸ™‚

    Sylv

    Wahaha! 5 years is not too long ok! It’ll come to you before you know it!

    Precious

    Actually the guy was showing an article extracted from the newspaper about how having a wife will actually save the life of a man by keeping his heart condition happy and at a stable rate.

    I was not able to snap the picture in time tho, so thats why its a bit blurry. Tried to photoshop it in, and thats the best I can do πŸ˜›

    Hehehehe

  8. Hi Rinaz,

    Came across your post about you attending the MPC. I hope this program have provided you an enlightening insight as to what spouses would expect in a marriage and how to keep working in your marriage to keep it strong and fruitful.

    Ordinary Guy

  9. Is it a new rule for non-Singaporean to attend the marriage prep course.
    my hub-to-be then hs just arrived from his hometown and was told it was not compulsory for him to attend the course regardless. in fact i was reassured about this when i did the marriage registration at ROMM. So i attended the class alone. it was year 2003.

  10. Ordinary Guy

    The course was definitely informative, and yes, I quite enjoyed myself even πŸ™‚

    The true test will be the actual marriage πŸ™‚

    Nasha

    I was confused too so I asked all of the trainers as well as the organizer and did some research on the web and it was all unanimous that even foreigners are required to complete the course too.

    Not sure when it started though.

  11. Salam Rinaz,

    Wah! Its nice to read that you have enjoyed the Kasih Sejati Marriage Preparation Course (Eternal Love). And it is also great to see that there are so many interested people talking and commenting about marriage preparation

Comments are closed.