Author: rinaz

I am so humbled and greateful and overwhelmed by the care, love and warmth that I felt by West Spring this Friday. Compared to the cold treatment that I received Thursday night, from the company to the warm loving experience that I had on Friday, was such a vast difference.

I went to the school to pack up my things and I saw some friends and I told them that it was my last day there. And they looked so shocked! It was humbling to see that they cared enough to express their feelings that way. How is that so? How can it be? Thats not possible marina, no one ever complained about you! And they looked adamant about my situation. It was the same with every one that I said goodbye to, they all had this expression of shock at my sudden termination. Dont cry Marina. Dont cry. I had to say to myself. But the hot tears just came out. It wasnt about the pay (lousy as it was) but the wonderful, wonderful people there. That was why I initially thought of resigning only in October when the final term would end. Oh well.

I packed up my items, my bears that has accompanied me at work since the old campus, the cards that the students gave me and looked at my desk to keep it locked in my memory.

I went down to talk to the principal.

Sir? Can I have a minute?
Sure Marina, come on in.
its my last day today. I’d just like to say thank you for welcoming me and making me feel welcome here. I really enjoyed my experiences here these past two years.
And he frowned and told me. You’re fired? I’ll try my best to see what I can do for you, Marina. In the meanwhile, please join us for the teacher’s lunch later. I’ll ask Minder to bring you there.

I’ll be there. Thank you again.

I then went up and quickly burned my files from the intranet into a CD. No way in hell will I let that witch get my files. My hard work that I’ve done. I was just about to delete my files from the sharing folder when that witch, my supervisor stepped in and warned me not to delete away my files. It belongs to MOE she said. Its copywrited. Did you know Suhardi (an ex colleague who used to work in the company) did that and it damaged the server. I was floored at her sheer denseness. No one could ruin the server by just deleting data files! If I thought that her command of english was atrocious enough for someone with a master that comment totally bowled me over.

Thats why I’m IT and you’re …. supervisor, I thought to myself.

And she stood there. Looking at me like I was a criminal. Thinking of me like I was going to steal something. Her mobile phone poised and ready at any wrong move that I make, to call or sms(someone) Her tone of voice told me “pack up and leave” I hated that feeling. I thought it was rude and snobbish. Linda went up to see and was puzzled at why I was packing up but she didnt ask me since the witch was there.

I returned the laptop and some other things on Rudie’s table and by then, Mr Minder was waiting for me. Ready Marina? Yeah, its time to go.

I gave hugs to the admins, Jane, Janet, Letchmi, and everyone else and they gave me the same reaction of shock and disbelief. Lets find marina a new job. I know some openings here and there! I felt so grateful and really, it was humbling to see so much support and care.

I went in Mr Minder’s car and cried all the way in the car. Randy and Mr Minder tried their best to console me.

Why are you crying for? The principal already said that he’d help you! You know that whatever he says, he means it! Dont cry Marina, who the (censored) does that company think they are? Its not worth crying over them. Principal already gave his word. You’ll go far. What is that company? Its nothing.

Eventually, I stopped being upset. And we reached the guildhouse and had our lunch there. Honestly, the warmth and feeling of love there was so touching. All of a sudden, Rudie stood up and said, this song is dedicated to ms marina, who’s last day is today. I cant remember what song he sang, but I was genuinely touched. Then P stood up too and sang along with Rudie and I tried hard not to tear up. It was just so sweet. I was duly touched.

Later on, P told me not to worry and he ACTUALLY introduced me to some high flyers! I was amazed and thought how surreal it was. I met the Military Defence Officer and some Army Specialists and the Dean of NUS and some benefactors to the school (how did he meet all these people?)

Tamil told me, P thinks highly of you. You dont have anything to worry about. You’ll be fine.

—

I think I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. I can only hope

Well it finally happened.

I went to the meeting at the company and there I was.

Fired.

Terminated.

Cancelled.

I’m not upset. In fact, I’m kind of glad since, I dont share the company vision anymore. Especially when they keep insisting that I was “in my own world” and I’m not “commited”

I’m just disappointed in the company for not recognizing the things that I’ve done to the school. Really disappointed.

But I’ll really miss West Spring. Thats all.

Its time to move on.

Might be influenced by the Girl with the pearl earring

May 25th is Towel day. Happy towel day everyone – Celebrating Douglas Adam’s Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Cart introduced me to the idea of carrying a towel for this day and the first thing that I can think of was how crazy the idea was. But I’d do it anyways for the list of crazy things that I’d do for 2005.

What exactly is Towel day? Well, according to Douglas Adams

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical
value – you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you – daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

I brought a towel with me in my handbag, but I didnt really feel the need to use it for the day. But I’m sure there are many uses for it when the time comes. Maybe I’d fall off the motorcycle and I could use it as a sling … or wear it as a fashionable skirt … maybe wipe the smirk out off a jerk’s face … but in the meantime … *wears her towel on her head and prances around like an egyptian princess*

Been kind of busy this week.

Friday afternoon.

Reached school at about 12.30 noon. Meet a few of my ex students : Nur, Sri, Zawanah and Razali who were admiring my green kitty bag. Me (along with Rudie) taught them Computer Applications last year. I miss teaching them. They were one of the most interesting class that I’ve ever came across. Sure, some of them slept in class and there are a few smartasses in there. But its all good. They aren’t bad kids. Misunderstood perhaps. They are friendly and proactive when one talks to them. And you can see that they really put in an effort (well, sometimes)

Anyways, I was to bring some students to the Esplanade for a National Blogging Competition. I was supposed to bring only 5 students. However while I was in the staff room, there were a number of students waiting for me. I counted them. 9! That’s too many. I can’t bring you all there! Some of you will have to step out.

And all of them gave me puppy dog eyes. I guess I’ll have to bring you all there then. I filled up some forms and off we went. We had to take public transportation as I didn’t have the foresight to book a small van for us since I assumed that I couldn’t for a group smaller than 10. This will be a learning situation for me I reckon. We had to walk and walk and walk to the 190 bus stop and then wait and wait and wait in the bus and then walk and walk and walk on the way to the esplanade itself. I was beginning to melt from the afternoon sun.

The kids looked adorable though. And quite chatty all the way. It lifted my spirits a little bit. Ooh. I could just pull their cheeks

At the parliament house

By this time, Zila called me up telling me that there were a number of schools already assembling at the hall. I was late! We tried to rush as soon as we could there. My kids still had time to pose 😛

We reached there finally, at about 3 pm or so. I had to apologize to Zila for being so late. I really didn’t expect that the journey would take more than an hour. Anyway, we signed up for the attendance and entered the hall.

It was interesting to watch the previews of the competition. The event, organized by singtel where different schools compete in creating the most popular moblog. It was interesting in the sense that not only was it a blog, one could also use mobile phone sms to create posts. It was quite accessible and the nice thing about it was that it was virtually spam free, as it needed a mobile phone to be activated. Not many people would want to spend money just to spam needlessly (probably, maybe)

Singtel and Moe has organized many interesting events. 2 years ago, they hosted the Learn@Arts event which I enjoyed tremendously. That is why I couldn’t just let this event slip by. I’m sure that the students would enjoy it. It’s a pity that most of the Technology Club member weren’t interested in it. All of the students that joined me were sec 1’s.

Anyway there were heaps of students from many various schools participating. It was a little odd hearing the questions posed by the students

“Can we add programming languages to the blog?”
“How about PERL or Java or C++”
“Isn’t there a way to edit the templates instead of the default?”
“What are these datacards for?”

Umm … Isn’t this a blog? Where one puts their thoughts and opinions in? To me, my definition of a blog isn’t where one messes with the coding so much so as compared to the actual content and writing of the blog. But I guess to each, their own. I can get surprised sometimes at some people’s eagerness to compete that they forget the actual purpose of the competition.

Anyway, after the briefing, my kids saw Jamie Yeo and you could just see them hyperventilating. ‘Cher! ‘Cher! Its Jamie Yeo! ‘Cher! Do you think she’s married? ‘Cher! Do you see her? Wow! ‘Cher!

* ‘Cher is a short form for Teacher that Singaporeans adopted

Jamie Yeo, by the way, is a popular Deejay as well as an actress for the local television station here. She seemed nice and pretty down to earth with no airs about her. She was pretty busy though, with all the people around her, asking for autographs and taking pictures. My kids pestered me to take a picture of them with her.

Zila and I also managed to talk to Aaron, who was from the show “Eye for a guy 2” (which I don’t watch though) so I guess he’s another celeb that we saw there. Like Jamie, I guess he was pretty swamped too. Maybe it’s just me, but I didn’t really get the charm and appeal of the guy. But he seemed interesting. I snapped a picture of Zila and Aaron in this interesting shot

Zila: I’m gonna dig your nose! Muhahahaha!!

We went for a little refreshment after the preview and we went home soon after.

Saturday

Bwaah!! Feeling groggy after waking up in the morning. I just had a heavy lesson in economics on Friday night and I really didn’t feel like helping out in the school newsletter. But I had to since I promised to help Waheeda and Randy out.

Reached school at about 10 am and wondering why the heck I was at work on a Saturday and I groaned and moaned and sighed. I walked past the staircase before the staff room and saw the mural drawn by the art students starting to look really good.

I was surprised to see that there are *many* other teachers there on a Saturday too.

I settled in and got to work with the trusty laptop. I shrieked and had palpitations at how slow the laptop is at saving the 70 megs a document (there were 8 altogether) I almost had a mini heartburn. But before we knew it, it was already 3 pm and we were finally done.

Randy and Waheeda decided to act silly as a celebration.

Narimah: Dont complain marina!

Randy: Do you like my pants?

Waheeda: NO pictures!

Prakash, Superman gone wrong

Just me and my yellow flip flops

Anyway, we brought the documents to be vetted by the principal. It was the first time ever that I went over to his house. I was surprised that he lived in a HDB flat. I’ve always assumed that he lived in a bungalow or a terrace. When asked about it, he replied that he’d rather have a smaller house and keep the additional money so that he could enjoy the money instead instead of having the house as a liability. I could understand his point of view.

After vetting, he took us out for dinner at the hawker centre nearby for some seafood. And we talked casually,the principal, his friend, Tamil, Randy, Prakash, Waheeda, and me. Waheeda told me to tell the principal about my company problems. She saw that I was really depressed in the afternoon after receiving a sms from the company. They’ve delayed my pay again. Moreover boss wants to see me again on Tuesday. Just what the heck does he want this time? After that Thursday night, I’m really beginning to lost faith with the company.

The principal listened to my story and proposed to help me out by hiring me as a full time staff with all the benefits and perks as a regular staff there. I’d get 1.8 k he said. And that sounded good to me. But he couldn’t give me the job now since he is under contract with the company. At the end of the year he said. I guess that was enough to keep me hanging. I’m actually earning very little right now. I used to earn 1.3 k and now the company actually CUT my pay to 1 k since the beginning of the year. I don’t even have CPF contributions. I don’t feel like a full time staff at all! Not even medical benefits? That was so sad … It was really tough with my studies and my riding practices and my expenditure … Tamil added that the economy was bad and asked me not to listen to the newspaper that said that the economy was picking up. He added that COE prices are going down. That was actually an indication that the economy was bad. I think I’ll hang on, I have to try to. I’ll send my resignation at the end of October or November for the one months notice.

Sunday

Suffered a mini burnt out. Slept all afternoon to recharge

Monday

Went for my final riding practise today. 8.01. And what do you know, I passed that practise. No more lessons! I was pleasantly pleased. About 3 weeks from now will be my traffic police test. I hope I pass it. If I pass it, I’d finally get my license 🙂 So exciting!

Met Randy in the afternoon to pass him the edited version of the newsletter and went to the Taman Jurong Community Centre in the evening for the “parents day event”. It was quite interesting albeit, crowded. The minister was there and it was bustling with activity. There were durian tasting session, buffet as well as games. Not many pictures this time though, people move too fast and night time shots needs time for the lighting to flood in properly.

Ah well, time to sleep now in time for the Marathon at the Macritchie Reservoir in the morning. And I haven’t even completed my Literature essay yet.

Didn’t go anywhere during the weekends for a photo-shoot. I was still ill, besides the weather was really raining cats and dogs! I’m not complaining though, as it’s such a relief to have such wonderful cool weather after the hot spell.

There are quite a number of events that are coming up that are quite exciting. Firstly Juli’s final practical make up would be on this Saturday and I’m sure she’ll do great! There is also the Photoi field trip at the esplanade this Sunday. The idea of testing out the lenses is very appealing to me. I’d love to check it out.

Following that, there are also some photography competitions from the copy of digital life newspaper from Express IT AND Great Eastern Life. How interesting.

Another interesting event was the West Spring Idols that was held on Monday. Zila and me got to be guest judge for the week. Well, since the student alumni couldn’t find anyone else and they were desperate.

The top 12

Some of the students were really good!

And the audience came in by the droves.

With loads of loyal supporters

No Razak, no. You cannot bribe me with a rose.

Hakim sings a rendition of Linkin Park’s In the end.

So Ms Marina, what do you think of the overall performance this week?

Err .. umm. It was … interesting …

What the heck? I only wanted to sit next to Ms Marina. MISS MARINAAAAAA!!!!

Okay, I’m being a meanie. Not all of them were bad. But I have to say that there are some students who left an impression on me. Some of the songs that they chose to sing was definitely not suitable for their vocal range. I cringed when one of the MALE singers decided to sing Toni Braxton’s unbreak my heart. And when another singer decided to forcefully try to reach the high notes when she couldn’t.

However, there were several stellar performances which I liked. They wowed me over, full of confidence and energy and coolness factor. Good luck to the final 6!

My first night shot on my camera, shot at about 1am outside my window – inspired by this image here which I thought was excellent. I fiddled around with Tv mode with slow shutter. Maybe a nice city night shots could be in place in the future 🙂

Met with Geri for a quick drink on Sunday afternoon and she told me about her experiences in China. She loved Shanghai, she said. The place was beautiful and picturesque. Temples surrounded with beautiful foggy mist. Geri promised that she would get pictures as soon as possible. She adviced me to travel. It opens up the mind to a lot of things, she said. Well, there’s a certain country that I’d like to go to. The only thing hindering would be the cost going there. I’ll give it a try though. I wondered whatever happened to the pact I did with Hema and Juli. We promised each other that we would travel to Europe in 5 years time and that was already some years back. Everyone got busy with their own lives.

I left for the botanical gardens even though I started to have a runny nose (had a sore throat by Thursday) as there was a musical event there. I was amazed at the sheer number of people. I didn’t really anticipated that there would be that many people. There were families having picnic, with kids running around. Couples, sitting on their mats, feeding each other with food and sipping wine, enjoying each other’s company. There were people with their pets along. The park certainly was bursting with activity and life. I loved it. It really felt alive.

The orchestra played a number of classical pieces. The only thing that marred it was the sound system which I felt was too loud and spoiled the feel. I chilled out, sitting between two families and soaked in the atmosphere. I had to leave soon after as it started to drizzle. Thus, I didn’t snapped many pictures on this day. It was a tad lacklustre for me to do so. But I promised myself that I would go again, especially after looking at the calendar of events :

• Latin Dancing, (Geri would like this!)
• Acapella Group (I know I’d enjoy this)
• Smooth Grooves Jazz (Cart would like this! 🙂

I sat down by the Swan Lake to see families and children feeding bread to the swans, turtles, fishes and ducks. I dangled my legs at the edge of the catchment, wishing for a close knit family. I loved to see families spending time together. Children chattering excitedly to their parents about their discoveries. Dads teaching their sons how to catch insects. Moms hugging their daughters while they smile, feeding the fishes. I suppose that I’m feeling very maternal. Biological clock is ticking, after all. As my mind relaxes while watching the animals swim by in their slow, steady, relaxed way. I pondered about many things…

Here are a few snapshots from botanical gardens.

By Monday morning, I had a runny nose that I had to blow every few minutes like a trumpet. Went to riding practise, enjoyed my time on the road, and I actually wanted to scream at the other riders in our convoy to ride faster! *chuckles* Well, we were supposed to ride in a staggered position and they were trailing behind the other riders. Am going again this evening. I’ve never ride in the night time before but it was part of the lesson, so lets see how it goes.

Tuesday morning I felt miserable and drowsy and lousy and in need of loads and loads of TLC. Where is my TLC? I need my TLC! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW! God Dern it. Where’s my back rub? And my foot rub? Where’s my chicken soup? Why isn’t there anyone tucking me in bed?! I don’t want to go to work today!!! Waaaahh!!!

But the day went on. Went home with Rossdee after my literature night class after we found out that we took the same bus home. We talked about a lot of things: his job at the shipyard, his experiences, Shakespeare’s measure for measure (which I found boring) and the poetry of Mother to son that we were to analyse. I quite enjoyed that poetry. I think its motivational and quite beautiful. I think I’ll make it my new mantra when I’m facing adversities …

Mother to son
Langston Hughes
—

Well, son, I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor –
Bare.
But all the time
I’se been a-climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark
Where there ain’t been no light.
So, boy, don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps.
‘Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now –
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

Speaking of motivational, Cart gave me the kahlil Gibran to read. It’s quite fascinating reading. I hope to read the entire thing when I can.

Boss wants to meet me this Thursday. I going to give him a piece of my mind. I don’t really care any more. My pay has been late. And almost always its not the correct amount. I’ve been asking for my payslip since march! (I think that’s a right all workers should demand)I haven’t gotten my promised increment and my bonus? What a laugh. I don’t want excuses. Heh.

I think I should leave by the end of the year. As much as I enjoy teaching at West Spring and love the people there, I’m not really happy with the company where I’m working at. I think I deserve better than that.