A story of a failed online love

Meet my cybersweetie.

complete with corny lines 😛

Some months ago, I wrote about online love. Interacting online can be an interesting experience – it could be fun, but it could be annoying when one meets strange characters.

A long long time ago, back while I’m in Jurong Institute, I used to be active in mirc, there were many strange characters there and one particular character went like this.

ACJCRugbyPlayer: Hi

|rose| : Hi

ACJCRugbyPlayer : I’m a tall, fit and tanned guy. Wanna go out?

|rose| : Uh .. no, I don’t know you

ACJCRugbyPlayer : I want to meet you, you’re so interesting! Do you wear glasses?

|rose| : Why are you asking me this?

ACJCRugbyPlayer : So its date! I’ll see you at Clementi tomorrow at 2pm! Bye!

ACJCRugbyPlayer has logged off

|rose| : Idiot

But anyway, the next day, out of sheer curiosity, I decided to stay back at Clementi, since it was in transit to my bus home. I waited 5 minutes and then 10 and then 15 before I realised that I’ve been stood up.

At first, I got angry. How dare he stood me up! And then I got insecure, Was it because of my zits? And then I went to the bakery and got me a nice slice of blackberry cake and shrugged it up and got indifferent.

At the tender age of 18, I learnt one of life’s biggest lesson … which was to “always take things with a pinch of salt”. I quickly forgotten that incident and continued on.

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I discovered Cybertown somewhere in July 2002 and I was really bowled over. It was one of my first experience at an interactive 3D community and I enjoyed it immensely. I also had a culture shock there. There were cyber-families and virtual marriages created faster than one can say Zoroastrianism. I’ve always laughed at people who were in cyber families and virtual marriages because I couldn’t understand why they were in it. It was all such odd make believe and role playing. Fake families. Fake. Fake. Fake. Even the way that they acted made me a little ill. Lets look at this scenario

Act 1
Guy meets girl. Girl meets guy.

Act 2 (5 minutes later)
RandomVirtualGuy: Oh how I love you!
RandomVirtualGirl: I love you too!
RandomVirtualGuy: Lets get married!
RandomVirtualGirl: Oh yes sweetie! Lets get the priests, the church, the invitations …

Act 3
A most beautiful virtual wedding in a lovely VRML created church

Act 4 (A week later)
RandomVirtualGirl: You *%(&#$. I hate you!
RandomVirtualGuy: You’re such a (&#$
RandomVirtualGirl: I want a divorce!
RandomVirtualGuy: Fine!
RandomVirtualGirl: Fine!

And this scenario

A 30 something woman: Hi mommy! *snuggles up to mommy*
Another 30 something: Hello hun {{{{{nick}}}}} your dad’s not home yet.
Woman1 : Look what I got for you mommy! *bounces around*

I realise that there was a need for escapism, but I found that it was a bit too much for me to digest. I decided to explore some nice and quiet worlds. I went to the virtual mall for a moment to see some of the VRML items that were being sold. That was where I met G. We said our hellos to each other and then said our goodbyes a few minutes after.

I met him again, in another store and jokingly, I said to him “We must be playing hide and seek with each other, we seem to always be bumping with each other”.

And from then onwards we became friends. We spent time together and got to know each other. In time, I began to be attracted to his gentle and caring demeanour. He would be there to listen whenever I had a problem and gives me motivation when I needed it. He was really sweet.

  • Hey G, I just got a job in a school called West Spring, can you believe it?
  • Wow, thats great! I’m happy for you
  • Things are looking up for me!

He’d invite me to his virtual home and I admired the way that he decorated his home. To me, the way one furnishes and crafts their home shows their personality. He had simple yet warm and comfortable furnishing. And I saw that he actually had a painting that I created hanging on his wall. I was so flattered. Some while later, he even created a vrml doll dedicated to me and I was bowled over.

After a few months, I realised that I really liked him. A lot. And I cared for him so much. I was smitten! And I was happy that he felt the same way too. The days turned into months, we were really happy, just being in each other’s company.

And then, one day, he disappeared.

One day. Then a week. Then a month.

I was nervewrecked! What happened? Where did he go? Is he alright? Is he still alive? What happened to him?

I asked a mutual friend, if he could help me. He called up the local jail and the hospital there and reassured me that he wasn’t in either of these places, so he couldn’t have been locked up, or hospitalised or worse, dead.

I still worried for him though. And some while later, he turned up. Said that he was having computer problems and couldn’t get online. I had so many questions in my head … Why didn’t he use a cybercafe or a neighbour’s computer to drop me a message? But I was just too happy to see him again. And then things went on as normal.

We professed our love for each other, explored worlds together and just enjoyed each other’s company. And I felt so loved.

And then he disappeared again. One week passed by. A month. And then six. I felt that I’ve lost him forever. I was angry and deleted every email that he’s sent me, deleted all of his pictures and tried to delete every memory of him.

In a way, that helped me cope. It doesn’t hurt when one doesn’t remember. At length he returned again and tried to contact me. I was still upset and didn’t want to talk to him any more but now I’m slowly opening up again. But it’ll never be the same.

G, I’m not angry with you anymore. But I hope you understand if I tend not to talk to you, or may seem aloof. We had the most beautiful dream but in the way, the dream just faded away. And I truly did love you but I guess if the situation was a little different, our story would have been a little different. I wish for nothing but the best for you… You are a lovely man.

Part 3 and final installation coming up. Need to get ready for my brother’s Basic Millitary Graduation Ceremony right now