Marina's Bloggariffic

I am certain that Sim Lim Square is a building that is full of seductive temptation. In less than an hour, I parted with at least $400 on electronic products alone. I dont even spend that much on clothes and shoes!

Sim Lim Square is known to be one of the most renowned place in Singapore for electronic products at a cheaper price. The first two floors were dedicated to cameras, video recording equiptment as well as home products. Me and my brother liked to hang out in the fourth level onwards for the computer things and we’d go gaga over the computer paraphernalia.

But I dont know what came over me today.

Normally, I’d just go “oh wow”

But today, I went:

“OMYGOSH! 2ND HAND LAPTOP! ONLY ONE MONTH OLD! $1.3K! OMG ITS BEAUTIFUL! I WANT IT! I WANT IT!”

“OMYGOSH!!! LOOK AT THAT LCD SCREEN! ITS GORGEOUS! ONLY $260!!!I WANT IT! I WANT IT!”

“WOW! 2GB MP4 PLAYER! IT PLAYS MUSIC, MOVIES, RADIO, AND RECORDS SOUND! I WANT IT! I WANT IT!”

“A NEW OPTICAL MOUSE! MINE! HEADPHONES! MINE! I WANT A NEW GRAPHICS CARD! GIVE ME! WAAAH!!!”

If it werent for this small voice inside me, struggling to say, “Marina, you dont NEED all these” I think I would have gone overboard and spent all of my money.

With that, I quickly scoured and fled the place after getting what we were supposed to get to avoid temptation.

Its been researched that shopping has a direct effect on the brain’s pleasure center. The feeling is not dissimilar to the experience for an addict to get their fix. Thus it is very easy for someone to start on getting on high when shopping for their favourite things.

Its a scary thought to know that its very easy to fall into temptations like that.

Though the amount that I spent might not seem to be that much to some people, but to me, the value is still alot – and my fear is that the amount will escalate with time. Children dont spend the same way adults do. People’s expenditure increases as they grow older.

There are already enough people who got themselves into debt on overspending. It would be horrible to include myself to the alumni. I do hope that, that never happens.

Have you ever had a moment when you went entirely crazy during shopping?

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Juli asked me if I wanted to rent an apartment with her.

I paused for a while. Who doesn’t want the independent life?

To be able to stay out as late as we want, to cook the things we want, to decorate the place how we want it and to do all the things we wanted to do but couldn’t since we were still living with our parents.

Many a days I daydreamed of entertaining guests to my hypothetical large and spacious home, have dinner with home cooked food and then entertain ourselves by playing board games or watch a movie.

But we were just starting to work then, and wasn’t so financially secure.  And now, after some years of working, I’m still not rich, but I can manage more or less.

So why hesitate now? Why not leave the nest now?

It’s interesting to note that many Singaporeans aged 25 and above, are still living with their parents. It’s not uncommon to hear 30 year olds, even 40 year olds living under one roof with their folks.

Living with parents is not a new phenomenon, and in fact, seems to be a more popular trend. In the United States, about 18.8 million 18 – 34 year olds still live with their parents. In Italy, about 80 percent of single Italian men live with their parents.

There are some people who might scoff at our lack of independence and some may find the entire idea as unfathomable. “What? To still have my mother to wash my clothes? And cook for me? Unthinkable!”

For me, I believe that it all boils down to filial piety. As Asians, there is an unwritten mantra for the child to take care of their parents as they grow older. In fact, when I started working, peers would ask, “How much (money) do you give your folks?”

I’d like to be able to give my parents a comfortable life if I can manage it. At the very least, be committed to them as I humanly can.

Sometimes I wonder if I can ever live without my family. I’ve been with them for as long as I remember. For all the disagreements, they are still a part of me. They are the ones who I can fall back and count on. It’s a reassuring familiarity for me – and at the end of the day, it’s a comforting thought to see that each family member is there. I am always reminded by our own mortality and I worry sometimes that I’d live with regrets, that I did not bond as much as I should have.

Eventually, there will be a time when I’ll have to leave the nest to make my own. For the moment, I’ll just enjoy being with my current family a little while longer.

Till then, I’ll still keep on dreaming about entertaining my hypothetical guests in my hypothetical house with my hypothetical award winning book 😛

I’ve been looking at my old gallery in deviantart and reading up my old journals.

Its interesting how different my writing style from the year 2003. I think I sounded more energetic, vibrant and kiddy young then.

Of course, people develop throughout the years – they evolve in their thoughts, their preferences and feelings. The thoughts of Marina at 12 years old would be very different compared to the thoughts of Marina now. People change. And as the quote from John Wyndham’s The Chrysalids

“The essential quality of life is living; the essential quality of living is change; change is evolution: and we are part of it.”

But sometimes its good to revisit the past and remember the old memories, the fears and the good feelings. Even if our current technology is not superior enough to record memories as in Star Trek or Minority Report, the mind is still one of the impactful part of a human anatomy. The mind can transport us to where ever we want, and whenever we want.

One of my fears is to forget my past and my background.

If we forget about the past promises that we’ve made to myself and to forget about the memories that we’ve experienced, will mean that we will forget about us and the entire essense of what makes us who we are.

I think, in a way, I am lucky that I’ve started writing in a diary since young. Somehow in a way, it keeps me grounded and my nostalgia alive as I rekindle old thoughts and memories.

1998, In school and wondering if I would do well enough to enter university

1995, writing about my experience during my weekend waitressing job

1990, I had chicken pox! Look at the spots on my ‘toon hehehe

I wonder if I should combine all my journals and diaries from the past to this blog. Hmmm …