Vday rambles

How shall I word this?

So much things to say, but I’m unsure of how to express it. So I’ll try to say, the best that I can.

Its valentines day today. A day to celebrate love. A special day with your loved one. I see couples walking hand in hand. The girl will be carrying roses, chocolates, soft toys, balloons or other various trinkets that her partner would present her.

I cant help but to feel a little wistful watching these couples. And I get a little envious. It isnt about the roses, the chocolates or balloons. I dont care about those much.

What these couples have, is the chance to meet up face to face and spend to time together. Holding hands together. Looking into each other’s eyes. Laughing together. Just sharing moments together.

I have a loved one, but he is thousands of kilometers away. I cant hold his hands. I cant see his smiles or hear his laughter. I cant look into his eyes or stroke his hair.

I miss him …

Long distance relationships is never easy. It starts out passionately, like an ignited matchstick. But like matchsticks, most of them dont last very long. Because in long distance relationships, it takes an immense amount of patience and strength which most people just dont have.

I really hope for that to never happen. I think that we’ve got something really good between the two of us. Beautiful memories spent together. But this distance, this intermission can really drive me crazy.

Sometimes I think about the different ways that this relationship will not work. Differences in culture, the sheer distance, our diverge interests. And that makes me think to myself, why carry on this relationship, when its chances of working out does not look good. Maybe we should just save ourselves from grief and just say goodbye.

But if we say goodbye, that would mean to throw away all our hopes away. And if we say goodbye, we will have regret of what to be. Is it worth giving up?

A wise friend said,”i prefer taking risks than feeling buried alive in a pointless existence”

All I have now is hope of the wonderful things to look forward to.

And I look forward to spending days together with you. I love you. You are my sun and the king of my heart. I feel so deep for you.

Will you still have me in years to come? Will you still love me?

Please love me … I fear that I might forget …