I cannot take this anymore

Disclaimer : This is a rant and may be offensive to some

Back when I was living in Singapore, I worked as a Multimedia Educator and used to teach students on how to use software applications. Normally, I’d demonstrate to them first, and then they’ll do the practise together with me and then I’d task them with an exercise towards the end of the lesson to gauge their understanding.

Theoretically, that sounds reasonable right? But normally at this point of time, the class will be chaotic with :

MISS MARINA! IS THIS HOW YOU DO IT?

MISS MARINA! DID I DO THE EXERCISE CORRECT?

MISS MARINA! CAN YOU PLEASE SHOW ME AGAIN?

It wasn’t bad if it was just one or two students. But imagine 40 kids all screaming the same thing. Sometimes I feel like Dexter with an entire room filled with hyper Didis

If they had paid attention in the first place, they would be able to do their tasks at hand easily. Instead, these kids are distracted by surfing to websites like lovecalculator and whatnots.

But in anycase, most of the times I had to be patient and understanding because they are kids after all, and their attention span is way shorter compared to a mature adult.

And a couple of years later, I’d have messages and emails from former students and many of them would say things like “Your lessons were so useful for my school projects. I wish I paid more attention in your class!”

And secretly I’d gloat inside. Just like how every parent gloats when their kids have their own kids.

Don’t get me wrong. I do enjoy teaching. I find it very satisfying to share my knowledge to others and even more when these people appreciate and do well in it. I just find it very disappointing when people, whom I know are intelligent and have the capacity to think, don’t even try to put two and two together.

I don’t think that I am asking too much. But like I’ve mentioned, these are kids with short attention span and I’ve to be patient.

But how about adults?

Ever since I’ve been living in Rome, people, mostly random strangers mind you, keep asking me to recommend them hotels, bed and breakfast’s as well as other type of lodgings. “Oh! She lives in Rome! And she’s blogging about Rome. Therefore she must know everything there is to know about Rome. Let me email her! And since she’s *just* a housewife, I expect her to reply back to me immediately.

Lets think of it this way. You are a Singaporean. You live in HDB flats all your life. And all of a sudden you have a friend from overseas asking for recommendation specifying for a  cheap and good hotel. And you think to yourself, “I don’t know. I’ve never stayed in one.” And then you think to yourself, “Maybe, I should help her anyway because she’s my friend” and then you do search on google and tripadvisor and wonder, “This is so easy! Why couldn’t she have done it herself in the first place?

I get this with complete strangers every. single. day.

It’s very frustrating for me. Moreso because I’ve already blogged my piece on “Tips on visiting Rome” and if these people would have just taken the time to do a search, 99.99% of the time, their questions would already be answered.

I don’t understand! Is it so difficult to do?

Instead I’m constantly bombarderd by people who messages me thinking that I have so much free time and expects me to hold their hand all the entire time and spoon feed them the answers with a cheerful endeavour and smiles like this :))))))

NO! Not any more! I am really tired of all these people!

Listen, I may be a housewife, but contrary to what you think, I’ve a lot of wifely duties to do – grocery shopping, tidying up the house, laundry, and whatnots, Italian classes to go to and this takes up a large part of my time.

And through experience, when I do reply back to them, they don’t even have the courtesy of responding back with a thank you. I’m sorry, but whether these people know or may not know it, but they are plain RUDE and thanks to these people, I dread to reply to any messages at all!

It’s just not worth my time. What do I even gain in return? A favour? A postcard? A following on twitter? On facebook? A comment on this blog? A small thank you?

NO! These people get what they want, and then they disappear. What? How ungrateful is that?

Go away and leave me alone. I’ve already reached the threshold. Don’t email me and don’t message me if you have absolutely no intention of being polite to me.

Next time I do, I’ll just point them to this blog post.

Sidenote : Not to be completely negative, I did meet plenty of nice friends through this blog which means that there ARE nice people out there. Thank goodness for a bit of sanity or else, I will go crazy!

16 thoughts on “I cannot take this anymore”

  1. I feel your frustration!! I think Google is the fastest and most informative place “to ask”… but unfortunately, most people are too lazy and rather be spoonfed.

    It’s probably me getting older or I’m just done with computers and troubleshooting, but here’s my frustration: A colleague wants to upgrade her Firefox3 to Firefox4. But is such a bodoh. Don’t even know how to download the installer from the web!!! She expected me to stand next to her and watch her click every link. Just typing this is making my blood boil!!!!!!!!!! Alamak, if it was a newbie to PCs, I’d understand. But she has been using that computer for more than 4 years already. How can someone not know how to download and install after using a computer for more than 1 year. Ridiculous! This is when I wish I was a bodoh and all I can say is, “I don’t know!” to everything. Easy, right? Have other people spoon feed me instead 🙂

    Ok lah, sorry for ranting here at your blog pulak 😛 ambik chance 😛

    1. Huh? Betul ke dia tak tahu? Tak pernah install game? Tak pernah install software? Tak pernah install installer? App? Music player?

      Hairan bin Ajaib! Install ajerlah software tak senonoh baru dia tahu 😛

  2. Hi Marina, I really don’t fully understand why you are frustrated.
    I’m sure these people know very well about google or tripadvisor (by the way, I love http://www.booking.com). I still think that their intent is striking a conversation with someone who actually lives in the place, and maybe getting some “insider” tips and perspective. I’d say this is one of the benefits of writing/reading blogs: sharing information among peers. I wonder: if people who ask advice about Rome are a waste of time to you, what’s the type of attitude you actually welcome from your readers? What do you expect from them?

    PS: I am totally with you when you say that people who ask and fail to thank you are just rude. I agree 100% on that.

    1. You missed out the point that I was trying to make.

      I am happy when regular readers who follow my blog email or message me. They are the intelligent type of people who have read, understood and want to interact in a polite manner to clarify their doubts.

      But when random people, who out of the blue messages me about HOTELS and other lodgings, I do have a problem with this because :

      1. I live in an apartment. I do not live in a hotel.
      2. I have already written about my opinion about visiting Rome which proves that
      3. These people did not bother to READ what I’ve already written. They would have had the answer if they took the time to look at the sidebars for the category and search.
      4. I get this on a daily basis.
      5. Through experience, 90% these random people NEVER reply back to say when I help them. It’s a thankless job and sorry to be blunt but it’s not my responsibility. I am not a hotel agency.

      They are not my friends, I do not know them. They have never been to my blog before and will never in the future. I am very against people who make use of others.

      Attilio, if you have random people, strangers, in the street coming up to you, asking for recommendations for hotels in Sicily every single day, for close to two years and when you take your time from your schedule to answer and they dont even say thank you, I’m sure you’ll feel frustrated as I do.

      1. Well yes, if I had people asking the same questions “every single day” without ever thanking me I would probably stop replying in the first place. It never happened to me though: my students do have a tendency to ask the same questions. But it’s in the nature of my job, plus they are a kind bunch and they do thank me. Well I guess after this post – apart from Louisiana folks – people will either refrain from asking or make sure to be polite.

  3. Hi Marina,

    Hmmm From their point of view, I’d think that they wouldn’t mind if you say you have no idea. It’s like if you know, great, but its a hassle for u to answer, it’s ok. But I agree that if it comes to getting such a msg EVERY DAY, it can be quite frustrating.

    Or…How about CHARGING them for the info? Be a freelance guide/travel arranger in Rome. You’ve got so much traffic to your blog. =D

    Jus

  4. I can understand your frustration when people don’t reply with a thank you message after you’ve taken the time to write them. It happened twice to me by strangers and I don’t think I will reply anymore in the future. I’ve got enough face to face and not adding those by emails.

    1. I don’t think it’s the helping part which is annoying, it’s when the people seem unaware that it is actually an effort to do this on a regular basis. Meh. I needed to rant anyways. Already reached my limit.

  5. Hi Marina. My name is Bob Joe Billy from Louisiana. The missus and I are thinking of taking a trip to Rome and we’re hoping you could tell us where the best place to stay is. It has to be cheap, 5 star and close to all the good tourist spots. We’d also like for you to write up a detailed guide on how best to maximize our time in Rome, so that we can see all the best attractions and not fall in the tourist traps. Please make sure to include stops for food in the itinerary.

    Oh, and I’ll need this by tonight. I’d thank you , but I’m not sure how good a job you’ll do, and if you do a good job, I’ll be too busy with my own life to bother with thanking you.

    Now get to it! And don’t tell me dinner takes all afternoon to cook. I is smart so I am knowing better. LOL.

  6. Ms. Marina,

    I’m afraid that due to your lack of timely attention to my requests for information, I’ll have to seek answers elsewhere. I would think that a housewife, with so much time on her hands, would be able to take the time out of her not-so-busy day to write an ingrate with many questions and no offer of reparations, like myself, and serve up a lovely itinerary.

    Good day, ma’am!

    (hehehehe)

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