Having kids – Yea or nay?

This topic has been triggered by the fact that a lot of the people I know are getting pregnant or are already having young children.


No one has been pressuring me to have kids yet (not really, as most of my relatives live far far away from me) but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been giving this a thought.

Here’s a video blog on my thoughts about it :

5 Replies to “Having kids – Yea or nay?”

  1. Ciao Marina! Thank you for sharing your point of view. I think that when you feel that your time to have a baby has come, and your are phisically and mentally ready for this, the only question to ask yourself is “do I want a baby or not?”. Coz if you desire your baby you are also ready to face the difficulties, in terms of economic and life engagement issues. I think also that it is normal to aim the best life and opportunities for him/her, but I wouldn’t renounce because I weren’t confident to be able to offer him the best: I would offer him what I can..then he/she will be pushed to do HIS (her) best to have his place in this world.
    Of course, it is also legitime not to want a baby, I only wouldn’t renounce if I know I can give him/her at least the same opportunities of the majority of people.

  2. I agree with you that having kids is very very expensive. I know what you mean about wanting to give your child the best – private school, enrichment classes in various areas, etc. But I don’t think it’s a necessity.

    That’s the problem we face here too in Singapore today – many parents think that it’s a necessity, and that giving all these to their children means that they are giving the best to the kids. I disagree. There is a lot of pressure on parents to ensure that their kids perform well in school, have a variety of skills and talents. But really? Do people think that this makes kids happy or ensures their success?

    I feel that a child can be equally outspoken and sharp if the parents spend more time with a child to groom him/her, nurture him/her in various ways, and just ensure that his/her childhood is a happy one. My sisters and I never went for enrichment classes other than the ones that we were interested in (art, piano) and we were never in top private schools, but I would say that all of us are pretty outspoken, outgoing, and we can survive on our own skills accumulated over the years.

    That said, I too don’t want my child to go to a public school. For one reason and one reason only – it is too bloody stressful. I don’t think my child needs to undergo the stress of PSLE, O Levels etc to do well. The schooling system in Singapore (as I’m sure you know) is one that places too much emphasis on exam results, rankings, etc. This doesn’t necessarily translate into success or happiness in one’s life. So if I do have a child, I will home-school the child, as I believe that education should be about learning and cultivating an interest in different subjects, than in quantity of topics covered in a subject, or forcing a child to study whatever the ministry has outlined in the syllabus. This approach totally kills interest in learning.

  3. Marina, I agree totally with you that having a kid is very expensive and it changes somehow yr previous lifestyle.

    The school system is different in Italy and in Singapore. Here everyone has an equal opportunity to study till even university. But in Sg, if you dont hv that enough points or money to enter in university, you’re deprived of the chance to study.
    Whether a kid goes to public or private schools, neither one ensures a path of success or guarantee like u said in life. Education in school plays a part in one’s life and life at home(parents’ guidance to impart values, manners and ideas) plays the other part.
    I agree with Daphne that education in Sg is very stressful and competition is the game.
    Parents in Sg send their kids for so many courses which to me seems like they treat their children as an investment, a business.
    Kids there dont have a voice nor freedom of choice.
    I dont want and dont even dare to dream that my kid to study in Sg.. it’s not healthy at all. Whatever happened to plain studying has been lost over the years sadly.

    Last of all, anyone and everyone should respect your decision to have a kid or not. It’s your choice!

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