Whatever May Come, Whatever May Go

Its been said that the best way to cure ones sadness, is to listen to other people and not concentrate on oneself.

That makes sense since when one is sad, and always thinking about one’s personal grief isnt healthy. Because human nature would be when one think about sadness, sometimes or most, the same thoughts would manifest into another. And those thoughts would grow into another type of monster altogether.

Our problems sometimes seem insurmountable and the solutions cannot be found. We allow the problem to become so close to us, that life seems pointless. We disregard and neglect the things which can still give us joy and meaning.

Last friday was one of the most depressive days I’ve had in a long while so much so that I’ve almost lost my light completely. Close friends would know what happened exactly. But in a nutshell, I felt completely useless because of alot of factors happening in my life.

I was in deep depression

I feel better now, but I’m worried if when my next depression would strike. Its strange really. I’ve never imagined that I’d ever feel like that before.

But I’m still breathing. I still have to go on. And a short tenet to go by when loss and disaster darkens our heart :

“Make the most of all that comes, and the least of all that goes.”

Rinaz Jones McBeal

Holy toot, the red shirt that I wore yesterday ran! Silly me for soaking it together with my white knit top and my skirt. Now my skirt has a interesting red splotch design. Hope the fabric stain remover works.

Speaking of clothes, here is one of the worlds greatest mysteries. You toss in a sock in the washing machine and after it has been washed, you’d find that there are at least one side of the sock missing. Where does it go? Did it go the magical black hole of missing laundry? Is there a magic sock bunny that takes it away? And where did my denim skirt go to? What happened to my brown knit top? Did my green sailor top sail away? Where did the rest of my underwear go? Where? Where? Where?

Very puzzling indeed …

Anyhow, to continue with yesterday’s story, I went to have lunch together with Geri at Bugis. We went to Sim Lim Square first as she needed to buy a pair of speakers for her lappy. We were both nervous that the shops would be closed and the speakers that she bought with her looked a tad heavy and bulky. I looked around the shops for the prices of some of the stuff that I contemplated on getting. But then decided otherwise when I remembered how much I’ve spent on computer parts in December. Maybe another time.

Moreover when I checked at the ATM machine downstairs, as expected, my mid month pay hasn’t arrived yet. Even with the message they sent to all staff:

“Hi all, accounts has confirm salary will be credited tomorrow. The company all chinese staff, gong si fa cai”

That’s word for word. And that was on Monday the 7th. The day when it was supposed to be payday. Come on now accounts. Your department of all people should know that the bank doesn’t work on public holiday eve. And it doesn’t work on public holidays either. So we won’t get it on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday since these are all Chinese new year holidays. Checks clear only after 2 days. So it will only clear at the very least on Saturday!

What really made me mad about it is that they have been constantly delaying it since last year. What is up with that? Really annoying.

I tried calling up the Ministry of Manpower a couple of weeks back but couldn’t reach them, so I left a email instead. I recently received this back

“Section 21 of the Employment Act stipulates that all salary, other than payment for overtime work, must be paid within 7 days after the end of the salary period. Salary for overtime work must be paid within 14 days after the end of the salary period”

I should lodge a complaint. I’m nearly having it up to here. And I’m not sorry that I have told the principal about what was going on with the company. I’m still waiting for the Central Provident Fund to reply back to my calls. Loyalty my ass. If you treat your workers like crap, crap will come back to you.

Besides, it’s “Accounts has confirmed that salary will be credited by tomorrow. The company wishes all staff: Gong Xi Fa Cai”

Anyhow, Geri and I went to Long John Silvers for lunch. I love LJS a lot as it brings plenty of nostalgia for me. I used to hang around here a lot when I was back in secondary school – back then it had the cheapest prices any fast food restaurant had. For $2.99 we could have two pieces of chicken, fries and coke and we could make it last for hours and hours while we studied in the comforts of the cool air conditioning. Sure it was a little noisy, but it wouldn’t be as distracting as the noise back at home. Screaming matches are frequent in my household. So I’ve evolved with the unique ability to hear only the things that I want to hear. It’s called “selective hearing” All I hope for is that I don’t have “selective thinking”

Out of the blue Geri asked me why I never changed my watch. I looked at my watch.

me : whats wrong with my watch?
geri : it’s old
me : it’s not old
geri : It’s old!
me : well, I got it in 2002, it’s not old.
grew : you should change it
me : well I like it, its been with me for a while, I’m quite attached to it
grew : You should change it. You’re being defensive

My watch has been with me for long while now. It accompanied me through a lot of journeys, it has been with me with all my trips and was there for me through all the bad things and the happy things. It has been with me longer than any of my relationships even. My watch has never failed me once. It’s the most loyal watch and has never died on me when I needed it the most. Always ticking away night and day, rain or shine.

It’s so loyal to me, in fact, I think I’ll give my watch a name. Albert. That doesn’t sound bad, in fact, I kind of like it. Albert. Albert the watch. Yes, Albert is very loyal to me. I love you Albert, you’re the best pal a girl could have. May you live a long and happy live Albert. And I’ll keep you close to my left arm and I will keep you for always.

Oh. No. I’m beginning to realize that I’m growing to be neurotic all over again. I refer to one of the journals I wrote about last year.

Anyways, I noticed that to my horror, I’m becoming to be like one of those over analytical ladies that tends to analyze each and every behaviour of something … not that rationalising is bad, but when one over reads the lines, that’s something kind of obsessive, I think.

Lets just look at this scenario : (not that I’m in this scenario, but, you know what I mean)

man : we’ve been together for 3 months now …

woman thinking : uh oh … he thinks we’ve been together for too long … I think he’s gonna break up with me, why is this talk going on now?? Is it something I said? I don’t look good enough? I know I’ve been bingeing lately .. does it show? 3 months? Is he bored of me? Why is he doing this to me? Did he meet someone new? I knew it .. that bustard! He’s breaking up with me .. He’s actually breaking up with me … AFTER all that I DID for him!!!

woman screaming : I HATE YOU!!!

man : what did I do???”

If the Asian version of Ally Mcbeal or Bridget Jones ever come to Singapore, I think I’d be the first person to audition for it. I’m neurotic enough, and I’m eccentric enough. I’d be perfect.

Speaking of Bridget Jones, I came across a really funny blog while searching for yakult vs vitagen in google. It was so funny reading this articles that I spent a couple of hours just reading it non stop from August 2004 till the present post.

Its about a character who calls himself as Eddie Neo Chee Beng who is stuck in a job that he didn’t enjoy, but couldn’t find another one since he’s only armed with a diploma, thinks of himself as very unattractive and is a NBK (never been kissed)

I think that he would definitely be a male version of Bridget Jones. He definitely has the wit for it 🙂

I also looked forward to reading another blog because it was so fascinating and in depth and conversational without being in your face. And I look forward to when the author updates her page :)She had me at “insalata caprese” lol

Anyhow, I’ll end here for the moment. Till then 🙂

Spending Chinese New Year’s Eve in West Spring Secondary

Not sure what to update the blog with, so I suppose I’ll just write what what happened to me today.

Woke up and left home much earlier than usual today since it was the Chinese New Year’s eve. That means that there wasn’t any teaching today and in place, would be a concert followed by a class party. Left the house at about 7 am-ish and I must say, that after going to work much much later, I have to admit that seeing the early morning sunrise is really beautiful. I love to see the early morning fog and dew and the cool soft morning breeze. I should take a picture of the area in the early morning one day. I think that would make a lovely photographic project.

Dozed off in the bus again. It’s such a bad bad bad habit that I’m not too proud of. I wont read in the bus since its bad for the eyes and seeing the same route again makes me so bored that even with kylie on my MP3 player didn’t keep me awake enough. Blame it on the one hour journey. I didn’t have to wait that long at the old location. It used to be a speedy 30 minutes. Even an episode of “60 minutes” is much shorter than that. Fortunately, and amazingly, I guess I’m in sync enough with the bus journey that I always wake up at the right bus stop. I stretched, pressed the buzzer and waited at the exit. I then looked at the bus driver and waved goodbye at him.

Bad move. He thought that I was waving to say that “No, this isn’t my stop” so he continued driving. So I missed a few stops because I got stunned that he didn’t stop at the right bus stop to press the buzzer again.

Lesson learnt

Do not wave at bus drivers until you have safely departed from the bus.

Thus, I reached the school a little late. And pretty much missed the lion dance. But I’ve seen that ceremony for at least 3 times ever since I went to West Spring so it wasn’t such a let down for me.

I plonked my bag at my already horrifyingly barren undecorated table (compared to this)

I proceeded to go to the hall where the concert was held. There were a few number of performances. While I was there the emcee’s were just starting to introduce the dikir barat.

*Dikir barat are a group of singers that sing accordingly to the clapping of their hands and does intricate movement of their hands while sitting down. They are almost always accompanied by a gong and a small drum.

There was this giant chicken that came over. I reckon it was to symbolise the year of the rooster in the chinese zodiac

What made me chuckle out loud was that the chicken was constantly being bullied by the kids. Many were pulling its tail, some where smacking its beak with their hands and you’d see the poor chicken trying desperately to dodge them. Even the teachers were holding the chicken’s arm trying to figure out who it was.

“Hmmm … too skinny cant be so and so”

Here are some pictures of the kids in action

After which, there were a class parties held by some of the students here. Free food is always good 😛

I was just having a little chat with Evannia and congratulated her upon winning the overall class decoration. She said that her classmates pooled up 70 dollars just for the decoration and my eyes almost popped out. Yikes! That was a lot of money for just decorations. But since her classmates chipped in (and there are about 40 people on average per class) it wasn’t so bad I guess.

This is evannia, isn’t she adorable? 🙂

Some decoration I found in a class

Pretty girls in a revamped kebaya style outfit

And finally …

Okay, kind of tired now, I think I’ll continue with part two later 🙂

Blah blah blah blah blah

Havent taken riding lessons for a while, I think I’ve been a little rusty. Well, I could start the bike and move it, lol at least thats something eh? However, I’ll have to try again to get my turns perfectly. Keep forgetting my signals and blindspot checks .. bleh. Just a little bit more and I can start to practise on the main roads .. I can do it. Just stop day dreaming already! LOL

A few months back, I started on the small circuit and then the instructor brought us to the main and bigger circuit. Shift to gear two!! He shouted. NO! I screamed back to him. Gear two!! Gear two!! And I found myself speeding (well, it seemed pretty fast to me) at a high speed, at that moment didnt think about letting go of the throttle, and nearly bumping to a car that just decelerated suddenly. All that I was thinking of, was why in the heck did I decide to take the motorcycle license. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die.

While now, I wouldnt bat an eye if going at a high speeds. Its just a matter of practise for me then, I have to practise more to get it perfect. So even if I dont get it right the first time, I shouldnt give up. I should just try again 🙂

Anyhow, the reason as to why I took up riding lessons was mainly because I’ve always been interested in it. And the desire got even more when my best friends julie and hema and I went to thailand for our vacation. There wasnt that many public transportation there and the only way for us to move around was to either rent a van or a scooter.

I didnt know how to ride, neither was julie but we were very keen about it so we actually went up to a scooter rental kiosk and decided there and then to try it out. And after 5 minutes of lessons and seeing that we didnt fall – the person seemed satisfied and we went off.

Of course we were still wobbly then. I had trouble starting the kick start. Julie nearly ran someone down. And after having hema as my pillion, she absolutely refused to ride with me anymore. But we really had fun and I vowed that I’d start my license as soon as I could. So I shouldnt give up now. Its really really something that I’d love to have. Plus it would be useful, 1 hour bus travel is really no fun at all.

Anyhows, look at what I found from sgforums

Mmmm … mmmm mmmmmm … I’d love to go – I’ve asked close to everyone I knew to go to it. Well, even if they dont go for some reason or another, I think I’ll go there by myself! *chuckles*

However reading the fine print … Its only Monday – Friday 11am – 6pm. There’s no way I could go … unless I played hookey. Which I dont think I could do now : Dang.

I love the weekends!

Not concentrating on work. Not doing anything educational. Not having to do anything useful? I love it. Slacking off is something that I do with pizazz. If there were a certification of doing nothing, I think I’d pass with flying colours. Dr Marina N. (phd in psyco-logy)

Anyhow I’m just resting here, after 2 days of going out with friends. Friday night of pubbing at New Asia to celebrate Hema’s birthday. I really disliked the pubbing scene. A dark room full of bodies and cigarette smokes and you having to wade through it. I can’t dance, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke. So what’s the point of going?

Juli and I eventually went there anyway even though we were hesitant about it since we were both tired from work, even more so when Julie was having a sore throat, the same symptoms that I had about 2 weeks ago. But we went there in the end. All to make Hema feel happy on her special day. It was heart-warming to see the smile on her face when we turned up. And she looked gorgeous in her black dress and that styled hair. Happy 25th darling Hema! And many more to come 🙂

Come Saturday afternoon, Juli asked me to accompany her to register at Cosmoprof, the leading beauty and make-up school in the region. I was really excited for her since this is one of the first steps for our own business. I’d have to source out for photography lessons too and save up for a good digital SLR camera and umbrella flash and tripod.

The place looked nice, and we talked to the course consultant and went around the area for a bit. We then decided to walk from Dhoby Ghaut to Somerset for lunch. Unfortunately along the way, there were many food kiosks littering along the way and we stopped many times to buy snacks to eat along while as we walked.

By the time we reached Orchard road, we weren’t hungry any more and topped it off with ice cream at bravissimo. Mmmm … The hazelnut ice cream was pure bliss …

We ordered tickets for Bad Education and had about an hour to kill so we decided to have dinner at BigO which was a misnomer because the food wasn’t so praiseworthy. We decided to become food critics

Grilled Salmon with summer vegetables in sauce

Me: So, on a scale of 1 – 10. How would you rate this fish dish?
Juli : The gravy isn’t thick enough. It doesn’t seem to be able to complement with the fish. It is weak and tasteless and bland. I give it a 6 or 7

Triple Chocolate mudpie with brownie crumble

Me : I’m sure it isn’t easy to fail chocolate. *takes a bite*
Me : Oh.
Juli : Oh?
Me : Yeah, just oh. Not a OHHHH!! Screaming of joy type of Oh. But just oh.

Juli takes a bite

Juli : This isn’t a big O! It isnt even a small O! I’m not satisfied!

It would be funny having us grace the television screen if we really *were* food critics … 😛

We rushed out of the restaurant as soon as we could to catch the movie which was already starting.

Bad education was a disturbing movie, to me. Juli thought that it was really sick. But I thought that it was a well made movie with a good storyline and an interesting plot. But it could be a bit much for some people.

I’ll try to write again later. I think I’ll take a nap or something, I’m still stoned out.

The thing about online relationships …

I saw an online friend of mine on msn, Zoozee, whom I met from Cybertown. I haven’t met her for a while, so I decided to say hello. It turned out that she just accepted a proposal from Lion (Also from Cybertown) and I was really glad for her. I wasn’t surprised though, because they were one of the most closely knit couples in-world that I’ve ever met and I was really happy for the couple.

As the far as I could remember, online relationships has always been around ever since the ability to communicate with other people was possible. Romance bloomed even in the the days of the BBS bulletin board, moving to the heydays of IRC and then to 3D communities.

I was just looking at my backup CD and saw an old email that an online boyfriend gave me. My first online relationship would be somewhere in late 1996. Mirc was really popular then. I would log on and spend time with the people there, ranging from the weird, the interesting, the crazies, the funnies. There were many different types of characters there that I didn’t even needed to watch television any more since MIRC was more entertaining for me with all the antics there.

As how human nature grows there are a group of people that you’d feel connected to and I felt a close bond to a group of menageries and we hang around more. They were a really close bunch of real life friends and went for frequent outings and thus on-line friends became real life friends in just a few moments.

I wasn’t able to go to these outings since I was in Jurong Institute then and didn’t have that much free time. Nevertheless, I got to know this guy and we easily became friends. I don’t know how we suddenly became closer but he was interesting to me. I found myself chatting with him till the next morning. His comment of “Hey, it’s time for me to wake up now!” in particular made me chuckle. We then proceeded to talk on the phone for a few days and I liked his voice and looked forward to talking to him.

Online, he was always sweet, funny and protective which was very endearing qualities that I liked. Reading that email, I forgotten the nickname he used to call me “wify”. Now I think I’d turn to mush if anyone calls me that again but I thought it was sweet then.

He tried to meet up with me but since I was busy with school, I had to decline many times. But after a while, perhaps out of guilt (?) or a sense of curiosity, I agreed to go to a channel gathering. There I was, an awkward 18 year old, straight from school, in my grey school uniform surrounded by these rambunctious and boisterous hip and funny people. I then saw him and I smiled at the Chinese guy with the long floppy hair and he smiled back at me.

At the end of the gathering, he took my hand and we walked hand in hand and had our first kiss. I couldn’t help but taste the strong chilli sauce on his tongue. That really put me off.

We met again for a couple of times more, and he was even more sweeter on MIRC to me. And it was obvious that the channel regarded us as “the couple”. That was when he started calling me “wify” and became even more protective towards me.

Unfortunately, there was a problem. After we met, I didn’t feel that connection and didn’t feel anything more towards him than a friend. So I told him and he didn’t take it well. Called me names and since he was a mod in that room, banned me. So, that’s the end I suppose.

Anyway, I think I’ll stop here for the moment. There are still other things that I’d like to say about this topic, but I guess that would have to wait till another day.

Handwriting throughout the years

I’ve always found graphology interesting although I’ve never learnt about the intricacies of the writing. I do remember about the alignment of the handwriting tells abit of the person’s personality. How accurate that would be is subjective though. For example, if the person’s handwriting goes up instead of on the line, the person is supposed to be a dreamer, if the handwriting is on the line, the person is supposed to be a stable, solid person.

How the person curve their handwriting, the dot of the letter i, the spacing also reveals the person’s orientation. I think its pretty facinating stuff and had used to always want someone to interpret my handwriting. I probably couldnt care less now though, because it seems that my handwriting always changes every so often. Moreoever, I dont write with a physical pen and paper anymore since I use the compy more 😛

But I’ve always enjoyed writing alot since I was a young girl. I didnt know what prompted me or inspired me – perhaps it was upbringing,once a week my mother would bring me to the library since I was 6 or so, and I enjoyed being lost in the world of imagination from a book and wanted to share my thoughts the best way that I could think of. Through writing.

I started a diary when I was about 10 or so. I enjoyed penning my thoughts in and sketching drawings in at the end of the diary to sum if all up. (Not very impressive drawing .. but I enjoyed it 😛 )

7 July 1990. 11 years old. I had chicken pox then. It was memorable because I didnt have to go to school for 2 weeks and had to wear black all those days for reason which I have NO idea. Mother would burn incense and let the smoke go over my body to dry the skin and heal the itchiness. It was kind of cool since I felt like I was being voodoo’ed. Wasnt nice though when I came back to school and the first thing my teacher said to me was “you should go back home” Maybe she was worried that she might catch the chicken pox herself … *chuckles*

10 December 1995. I was about 17 then. And just ended my O levels. I was working on the weekends as a waitress then and chanced about one of my numerous crushes while I was working. He was walking with another girl, and thats when I decided that I didnt like him anymore. *laughs* I dont know whatever happened to Yusri, I dont think I could even recognize him if we were in the same room. Its funny reading back that page as the way that I think then and now is so different. I think I’m more open minded as compared to before.

7 August 1998. Take note of the handwriting and the curve of the letters g and y. It was said that when someone has a hook like that, they are very frustrated. I didnt feel frustration then, but I remember that I was extremely stressed out back in Jurong Institute. Pressurised by the extremely tough subjects which I shouldnt have taken having been in arts stream all my secondary life to be facing with the science stream abruptly.

I didnt do well in Jurong Institute, however, I never regretted it though, since there were many beautiful memories there which I could never trade for anything in this world.

15 Jan 2005. Well, I dont really keep a diary anymore, but this is just a brief idea of what my handwriting looks like now. I tend to write in all capital letters because it looked neater to me. No more hooks, like what I used to have and my lines are thicker.

Hmmm … wonder what that means

Of balls, of sheeps and toilet brushes

My throat feels like its being tickled with a feather. At least it doesn’t hurt any more like it did 2 days ago. It was a horrible burning sensation then, like someone stuffed a toilet brush down my throat. It must have been due to the virus thats going around here that’s affecting people around – I haven’t been hit this bad ever, even from last year, when I’ve been using my voice a lot.

Speaking of viruses, I heard from newsradio that the bird flu virus strain is hitting up again with a new case in Vietnam today. *shakes head*

Contemplated playing hookey today and not go to work moreover, I didn’t have any classes today and there are days when I really didn’t want to go to work at all – most of the times due to the company’s negligence of worker’s welfare. I went to work any way, no point staying at home doing nothing.

So thus I took the one hour bus journey to Senja and reached the school in the late morning. Teachers in West spring were starting to look more stressed out, and it was understandable since we were slowly settling down. I feel bad for them since most of them had to be in school at 7.25 am and stay till 6 pm, which I thought was TOO long and TOO draining and TOO enduring.

Nevertheless, West spring has some of the best people that I know of, wonderfully warm and friendly people that I enjoyed disturbing ever so often. The people at work are really genuine and I’m blessed to know people like these. They really are great 🙂

This Sunday would be a soccer match between Singapore and Indonesia. I contemplated on going, however, I didn’t know of anyone who wanted to go and the last time I checked, tickets were all snapped up. It was that popular it seems.

Now I’m not a football junkie, but this match sounds really exciting since its been years since we had a tiger cup finals in homegrounds. The fact that the national team made it to the finals made it more enticing.

GO GO GO Lions!!

It was my sister Diana’s birthday on the 11th Jan 🙂 I’d almost forgot about it if mother didn’t reminded me about it. I scoured around looking for things which were cute but not too childish for an 11 year old sister 🙂

At last, I found it in Mu-ee. It was a black sheep pencil case which I thought was just perfect. It had a silly face that had an infectious smile when you looked at it. I had it wrapped and gave it to my sister … and she liked it 🙂 It was sort of nice to see her chuck away her other pencil case immediately and putting all her stationaries in the pencil case.

Diana told me of this incredibly cute story of her sheep getting spanked while she was in class, which I thought would be animal abuse if it was really alive 😛

At this point of time writing, I’m staring at the wall, and the piece of paper with the sketch of the new webbie beckons me. I. Havent. Even. Started. With. The. Page. Yet. And that thing should have been done before the new year … I’ve so much things that I keep pushing away, its embarrassing. More embarassing that I’ve pasted a poster right beside it which has been gracing the top of my bed for the past year. The poster says “procrastination, one of these days is none of these days”

I’ve really got to find some will power to start … got to push myself harder and not be so darned lazy!

Well, I’ll end here for the moment. I’ll update again when I can. But before that…

And thank you Geri for being number 1 blog fan here … here’s a star for you!

And cart *hugs*

None for ashley 😛

Ah better stop here before I lose my mind again for the nth time

Thank goodness its the weekends!

Havent updated my blog for a while, you know what that means – the start of the new year, thus there isnt that much free time for me to update this page here. Anyways, I heard from geri that she’s gotten a job that she really wanted as a market research analyst. Doesnt sound particularly interesting to me, however, I’m really happy that she managed to get something that she likes. It was funny to hear her describing the manager, the one whom interviewed her, asking her all sorts of questions and quipping in “Tick, tock, tick tock” when she took a longer time to answer. 🙂

Speaking of jobs, my first real job was probably somewhere in the middle of the year 1999. That time, I was just completing my diploma and a friend asked me, “Hey marina, do you want to work as a temp teacher?” I dont know what compelled me to, but I accepted and found myself as a language teacher for Boon Lay secondary. I dont remember much about the entire scenario, I remember that I had a table, being introduced to the other staff, having to write up weekly lesson plans in a teachers handbook. The first day when I had to step in a class, I felt a little nervous … What was I thinking? Putting myself in a room of 40 kids! What on earth was I doing? But my fears was unfounded when I looked at the friendly, slightly mischevious eyes on the students, looking back at me as I introduced myself to them. We interacted, and at the end of the day, I found out that, this isnt too bad after all – in fact, I quite liked the attention of having to stand in front and talk 😛

Weeks passed by and I find myself having alot of fun teaching and thinking of new ways to make lessons more enjoyable. Slowly, I became quite attached to these students. These cute and adorable kids. It felt really nice when one is acknowledegd I guess. Small things matter. The little waves and the hi’s 🙂

Come one friday, the principal called me up to the office. “The new teacher will be coming in on monday, you dont have to come anymore” Just like that. I blinked blankly and mumbled a thank you and cleared my table in a daze.

I didnt say a word till I reached home, headed right to bed and felt the first warm tear rolling out of my eyes. I actually realised then how attached I was to the kids! All the things I planned to do wont materialise anymore. No childrens day celebration together. No more lessons together. And I bawled my eyes out for the entire night.

Actually, today, I cant believe that I actually did that – kind of silly come to think about it 😛 But that was the pinnacle of things to come. I enjoyed teaching and decided that, this was something that I didnt mind doing. Thus I decided to look for a more long term teaching and saw myself teaching for different companies, some memorable, and some not very pleasant. Like the time when I had to work in Altron for 7 days a week! Unfixed hours! Even on holidays I had to work! As much as I enjoyed teaching, it got depressing when I didnt have time for myself. I hated the fact that I left when everyone at home was sleeping, and reached home and see that they were sleeping for the night. I left Altron in less than 6 months before they had a chance to confirm me as a permanent staff. It was too depressing. I felt nothing but emptiness.

For some months, I took a hiatus and didnt do anything. Just some part time to supplement my expenditures. I was too proud to ask for money from anyone, you see, and refused to borrow cash even from my parents. They’ve got their own things to deal about anyways.

So I recovered, and then finally felt bored, staring at the same people, same walls, same scene 😛 Strangely enough, it was like a deja vous again. Noordin, a friend I made from Altron, who quit because he couldnt get along with the boss there asked me “hey marina, do you want to work as an IT teacher?” And I said yes! I skipped the interview and started immediately on the April 2003.

I saw that the culture over at West Spring was much more challenging as compared to the other schools that I have been at. The kids were more precocious as compared to other schools. But I truely felt at home, yes it was pretty stressful at times. Sometimes it felt chaotic, but its alright. Most of the times, it was still enjoyable teaching there and the kids there were quite responsive. So that was nice. And I finally managed to have a proper “children’s day celebration” *laughs*

The nice thing about west spring was that we pretty much do things together – really like a family. Thus its easy to bond here, and yes, I do feel quite attached here. My heart sank when some of the students went up a level, and I didnt have a chance to teach them anymore. Yes, I do miss them.

Anyhow, it looks like the present company that I have might encounter some problems … so I have to toughen myself now, and think of a backup system and prepare myself in case that the deja vous of me being called in the office again, like that year in 1999 …

Anyways, the past week in west spring! Very busy week! Orientation, parent discussions! Club recruitment! Well, I dont any pictures to show you, so I’ll let my colleague’s blog step in 😛

New Years Eve

He fought valiantly. After days struggling through, try to fight from being taken over. They tried to stop him, making him restart his battle again and again. Unfortunately, he got wounded …and tired … He finally lost his fight. He exploded and with a dramatic cloud of smoke, passed away …

Rest well, my sweet modem. May you rest in peace in technoheaven up high above you… You will be remembered.

And that was the start of a horrible day. After losing my modem, I decided to quickly get ready to go to the staff meeting at school. That was about 9am. Enough time for me to get on the bus and reach there. By then, it started raining. Armed with my trusty umbrella and my sweater and my backpack with my fried modem and other artilleries, I headed to the bus stop.

I reached the school and to my horror, it was empty! I called up a colleague. Isnt there a meeting in school right now? What? They changed the location? No, they didnt tell me … I’ll be there. So I rushed over in the rain to try to get to the place which I was not familliar with. As I sat in the bus I kept thinking, is this the right way? This doesnt look right. And after a while, I finally figured that I was actually lost.

Ookay then, skip that, I might as well just skip the meeting anyways, by then, it was just about 11am. No point going to the meeting anymore. I decided to go to Buona Vista to have them check up my modem by the tech there. He checked it, and fiddled with it and finally said “Yup, this is spoiled alright, you need to get a new modem” I looked at him incredulously …”well, cant I get it here?” And he pointed to the 3 different locations to purchase. I shook my head at what a time waster that was.

While waiting for yet another bus, I had a phone call from my supervisor … “why werent you at the meeting today, did you know how angry the principal was? Come for meeting today later at 4” And that phone call really made me upset. Coupled with the rain, and the cold, I was really feeling sorry for myself.

I then rushed to head to town area where it was crowded with people wanting to purchase the starhub mobile phones. I tried my best to be patient, stuck my mp3 player in my ears and fiddled around with my sweater. And when I finally got served, I realise that I had to fork out some moolah and my heart just sank.

I think I spent over 600 dollars on computer parts alone these past two months … things which I could use to spend on other things. Its so unnessary … heh.

Anyhow, I rushed home and threw everything on the floor, set up my new modem listlessly and read my email for abit. I had an email from cartcart, him feeling bad, and so making me feel concerned too.

My mother must have camed in and saw the expression on my face. I was very quiet and just shook my head when she asked me to have lunch. “There must be something going on, I can tell by the look on your face” I find myself bursting out what happened …and we were both quiet for a while.

She told me to have patience and that everything that happens, has a reason to it. I couldnt hear her, like I was underwater …

Happy bleeping new year indeed.

It was 3pm now, time to go off to the train to Boon Keng for my meeting. I met another fellow colleague and we had a heart to heart discussion about the direction and goals of the company. The problems and solutions … I have to say that it felt a little more uplifting then, I think the one hour train ride, thinking of nothing helped alot.

Well, to put a long story short, I have to find ways to enbetter myself and rise above everything else.

Anyhow, reached home at night time, after calling julie to confirm if she wanted to go out to Great World City, and after not being able to reach her, decided to go home straightaway. She told me later as I was nearly at my stop that she fell asleep waiting for my meeting to be over. I think by then we both didnt want to go out anyways. It was still raining, and it was much too cold and dreary to go partying anyways. I wasnt in the party mood either.

So I celebrated the way I would rather wanted to, chatted with friends online and wished each other a safe, happy and prosperious and enriching new year …

Well, happy new year dear friends. Life can be bleh but with people like you makes it more tolerable 🙂