What is it that you desire? People tend to make things more difficult than what it seems. Prioritise on what is important in your life.
- Merlin
Click here to watch on youtube
Filmed in Secondlife in these location :
I feel quite poignant
Lilian is right when she said that the blogosphere is very close knitted. I remember what Preetam mentioned before during the E27 unconference. He said “Most people are more inclined to read blogs that belong to their friends or aquaintances”.
I cant speak for all, but I think the statement is true. Much of my feeds are of my friends, as I like to read the updates on my friend’s life and see what they are up to. Of course at the same time, there are interesting feeds that I’ve subscribed, to whom I have no aquaintance of.
Nevertheless, the blogosphere definitely is very close knitted. We know this is so because of this simple experiment :
1. Look at your blogroll and click one at random
2. Notice that the blogroll of the person you’ve clicked on has at least 2 or more people that you know.
3. Now click their blogroll at random. Chances will be that you’ll still see at least one person that you recognize.
Eventually everyone is connected to each other in the blogosphere. We’ll be even closer to the six degree of separation.
The world has become a smaller place. Nowadays, I dont even need the rss reader to see updates on my friends. With websites such as the increasingly popular twitter, I can see what they are doing and thinking real time. Isnt that useful?
However in retrospective, somehow I think it just gives us a false sense of security. Yes, it is definitely convenient. But a million sms updates just cant compare real interaction. Besides, would anyone really care about my mundane activities and rants?
This is a typical twitter message
3:00pm - Scratching my head
3:05pm - I just sneezed
3:10pm - Swinging around on my chair
3:12pm - Eating chocolate
3:15pm - Oh I just blinked my eyes
Uh … Too much information?
But one cannot deny its usefulness. This reminds me of a report by New York Daily News in 2005 of of how the last entry of his blog, has helped police to catch his murderer. His xanga blog is still up and I was struck by how easily it is to connect to him - looking at his picture, and reading his posts, it is not hard to imagine him as our friend. He was an ordinary and real person. Just like us.
Even though we may not be able to meet up with our internet friends in real life, I believe that it is possible to have real feelings and memories towards them.
I still have memories of my online friends.
Undercore, a friendly and helpful young man whom was very helpful towards me and glonan, a sweet lady that is always very perceptive towards her friends. They are both gone too soon.
I think eventually, blogs and websites are a form of archive to remember us by. This blog too, is used for remembering past experiences and memories.
I think I am an average, ordinary person just like everybody else. We are all connected because we want to remember and to be remembered.
As a side note : There’s a blogout event coming up on the 24th May. Do come down if you can make it. This will be a great and fun way to meet and network with other bloggers :)
When I was a little girl, an ustadzah told us that in our lifetime, there will be 6 people in this world who are similar to us.
I think I found one person who is similar to me.
Meet Wati.
Okay, so we dont look exactly the same. But I see some mannerisms of hers which are similar to mine. She’s funny, she’s lively and she loves photography and video.
Wati is a Singaporean Malay woman who fell in love and married to a UK guy. They recently have an adorable baby boy together and are currently living in Japan.
Wati recently dropped in my blog and being curious, I decided to peek in hers and now I’m hooked.
If reading blogs is like seeing a window through another eyes, then this is a great view! In her blog she writes about her travelling experiences, life in Japan, her updates in her pregnancy and her baby as well as other interesting things that she’s discovered.
And its such a treat to watch her videos! I find myself laughing while watching a video of her husband eating a durian and chuckled when watching her teach Malay language to her husband and cringed at the different type of ice cream flavours that they had in Japan. (Horse Meat Flavoured ice cream? Charcoal? Wasabi? Yuck!)
Such an adorable family. Do drop by World of Wati. I am sure you’ll love them just as much as I did :)
I am supposed to be doing a sharing session this upcoming Thursday at the Idea Factory for the Secondlife Community meet.
To be honest, after hearing the discussion at the E27 unconference, and seeing participants with their scepticism and disbelief, I’m not very confident about talking this thursday, in front of all the technophiles I saw on the attendance list. Especially with Cory Ondrejka, the Chief Technology Officer of Secondlife being there.
(Even if I *am* looking forward to seeing Kevin and his helmet cam)
But I think that during these events, many people focus on the economics and technology segment. I believe that behind every mode of communication, there is a human element. So to prevent myself from mumbling incoherently during the event, I think I should give the topic just a little bit of thought.
Experiencing relationships in the metaverse (Or more specifically, Secondlife Relationships)
I believe that the feelings that experienced online, could affect a person in real life. These feelings does not necessarily have to be romantic feelings, it also includes the feelings that you get when you get to know the people online, whether it be from blogs, instant messages, virtual worlds or other alternative sites.
Some time back while I was in cybertown, a well loved resident passed away due to her illness. I remember the genuine feelings of grief. There was a eulogy and everyone remembered the good memories and happy moments that they had of her. The feelings of loss, the feelings of sadness, these are all real. Even if we do not meet these people in real life.
So why should Secondlife relationships be any different from real life relationships?
In Secondlife, I’ve seen how easily and quickly on how two individuals from a relationship with each other. I think that this is largely because people have the freedom to express themselves more. They fashion their avatars as how they wanted it to look and they control how they want themselves to potray. Moreover with the awareness that the metaverse is a platform as opposed to real life, people are less inhibited.
But as quickly as these relationships are formed, many of them are quick to dissolve too. A casual survey done in Secondlife shows that the average duration of a SL relationship lasts about a month.
Perhaps these relationships in the metaverse are seen as disposable. With over 4 million registered users in secondlife, there are always many other avatars that one can go to. Moreover, these residents can control their world as real as they want it to be, or to keep their relationships strictly online.
A wedding in Secondlife
There has been stories of partners turning out not to be as what they describe to be - some are married, some even not being open about their actual gender. Its very difficult sometimes to differentiate the truth in the metaverse because of the lines of transparency here.
The dilemma begins when a partner believes the representation of an avatar to be exactly the same as it is in real life. If they are happy in-world, would it be considered cheating when they find the truth about their partners?
I think the most important element in online relationships is maturity. Each individual needs to trust each other and to be truthful about their situation and always remember that behind every avatar, is a real person.
Torley and Jade
At the same time, there are also many couples who traversed from online romance to real life romance. It isnt easy, and it may not be for everyone. But I believe that with trust, patience, faith and strong commitment to each other, the relationship will eventually work out in the end.
Thanks to Secondlife, there has been real life partnership and matrimonies. And thats a good thing. It shows that no matter how advanced technology is, there will always be a human element prevailing.
Falling in love is natural. And emotions are what makes us, human. The metaverse is thus another avenue where we can express, emote and relate.
—
p.s If you are free on Tuesday afternoon, do drop by NTU, ADM Atrium. Cory will be giving a talk about Secondlife at 4pm. I cant be there though since I’d still be at work. :-|
Tags: Metaverse, Random Thoughts, Relationships, Secondlife, Virtual Worlds
I’m getting married! I’m getting married! I’m getting married!
Well, I think I’m getting married.
Every now and then, I’d ask Cart, “When are you going to marry me?” and he’d give the same answer, “You know our issues. I’ll marry you now if it werent for that“.
Cart and I have different religious beliefs. In our situation, marriage would not be legal unless one of us converts. But faith isnt something that can be forced upon .
This isnt easy. But I have faith that eventually we’ll be together.
Recently I asked him again.
Me : So, when are you going to marry me?
(Fully expecting the same answer)
Cart: Whenever you want
Me: We’ll get married on the 18th December. Thats a special day for me.
(Thats the date when we became partners in secondlife)
Cart: Hmm … thats too early, it clashes with my vacation days
(Completely flummoxed upon realising that he’s being serious)
Me: Huh? You’re really going to do it? Really? Really Really?
Cart: I could. You’ll have to tell me exactly what will happen
Me: You mean the customs?
Cart: Yes, I’d like to have an idea of what will happen. I’d also like to find a job for you here. I want you to have a good life”
Ok, so he didnt proposed. But that still counts as a proposal right?
And yet, there is this nagging feeling if I’ll ever adjust to life over there. Maybe its time for me to stop lurking and start posting at the Singapore Brides forum.
<emo>
How do they do it? The people in successful long distance relationships, having their ‘happily ever after’. What makes it so easy for them to just jump into a whole new world?
I feel like I’m in the middle of the road, stuck and unable to move forward. I cant jump like these people. Maybe it is because of my deep attachment here, to my family, my friends … I’d be leaving life as I know it.
But at the same time, I dont think I can stand seeing him just once every 6 months - Oh to feel so happy when I am with him but comes pure anguish when its time to leave. My heart breaks and a part of me dies.
Its a horrible feeling and it doesnt take valentines day to remind me that my partner isnt here with me. I think about it every single day. There are some moments when I feel so lonely and helpless that I lie sobbing in bed.
I am amazed at how painful it can feel. I never imagined that this feeling could be so powerful, almost physical. And sometimes I wonder how it would be like if we never met, perhaps we wont have this heartache that we are feeling right now.
But then again, if we never met, we’d never experience our love and care for each other.
Long distance relationship isnt the easiest relationship to be in. Many of them dont work out in the end. Some of these couples find it extremely challenging. How do a person tend a relationship when the partner is so far away?
The thing that I have right now is hope. But I want for us to move forward. But I dont seem to see any paths ahead … Every route seems so hazy in front of me.
</emo>
My friend Pam came down to Singapore for a visit.
We first met during our orientation days and immediately clicked together as she was an extremely friendly, jovial and sweet person. Even though we ended up in different classes, we still hang out together during breaks to discuss about school work or just have a chat together.
And thats how I got to know some of her classmates, like Wong Li, Yong Ping, and Christina. I think Pam was the glue that stuck us together - if she wasnt there, I wouldnt get to know these lovely people. I was amazed to find out that although Pam was from a well to do family, she was never ever stuck up.
There was a time when I had high fever in school and needed to rest in the sick bay. Pam came over during the break times and asked me how I was and even went to the extent of getting me a drink even though she didnt have to. I knew immediately then that this was a friend to be treasured.
We had loads of fun during our gatherings and events.
Eventually we left for our own different paths.
Till last night, we decided to meet up at Settler’s Cafe Sometimes its hard to believe that we’ve known each other for more than 10 years now. It seems not too long ago, we were experiencing our orientation days, hanging out together, and our lecture together.
I remember the days of gossiping about teachers, of people, and about relationships.
I was tickled to realise that we still talked about the same things, especially about relationships. We spent the entire night till the wee hours of the morning updating each other about our love lives. Poor Yong Ping got bashed by us 4 ladies whom analysed and criticized gave constructive critisism about his approach to wooing women.
Christina, believes that people feel most loved in a relationship in one or more of these 5 ways: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. I’m pleasantly surprised to know that she will be getting married soon and quite surprised to know that she’s also a baker! I’m sure she didnt plan to be one whilst back in school :)
Wong Li became a radiologist and tells us how stressful her work can be as well as creepy past experiences with men. We all go through life and experience, live and learn through it all.
Pam became a plastic surgeon after some years in medical school and she was describing about her experiences at work.
There was once this man who brought his mistress to the hospital. Give her bigger boobs. At first glance, I thought she looked perfect, hour glass figure. But when all the clothes came off, it was all saggy!
All our conversation was revolving about relationships and sleaziness that it felt like I was on a set of Sex and the city.
Christina, Yong Ping, Pam, Wong Li
But we had loads of fun. And it was a really lovely evening out. I do feel quite blessed and honoured to have known these wonderful people.
Life is short, lets enjoy it the best we humanly can :]
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