And after several years of LDR, we finally took the plunge to get married. 18th December. Exactly a year two years ago today!

Happy anniversary my dearest Cartcart. I love you very very much

Updated : Ok, ok. We got married two years ago. Cant blame me for mixing up the dates. I’ve got a good excuse. I’m jetlagged :P

Sidenote : What is with the cough virus bout going on? I’ve been sick for over a week now! Is annoying!

Woke up groggy after sleeping on the floor the entire night as to preserve the henna and the mad rush from the day before – retrieving the rings and having them engraved, last minute buying of gifts for our gift exchange, the dinner with Cart’s family as well as finally getting and preparing my outfit for my solemnization.

That was something that I was extremely angry about. For weeks my mum and I had been trying to contact the Mak Andam for updates on my upcoming solemnization. We’ve booked her months in advance. But as the days grow closer, she did not make any initiative to call us, and when we called her back, there was no reply from her handphone nor her house number.

I was already getting worried. I wanted to know what the deal was and finalize the type of photoshoot that I wanted.

It was only a day before my solemnization was that mum and I were able to get a hold of her. When I arrived at her place, she started to mention that she has been sick and that her house phone was disconnected and that her handphone was spoiled. Which actually was an extremely lame excuse. If she had the initiative, she could have used dozens of other methods to contact my mum or me.

But at the point of time, I was just relieved to have gotten my dress, even failing to notice that she did not adjust the dress to fit me, or even bothered to iron it. But I should have seen the red flags to come.

Regardless, it was Cart and my big day. It was exactly 4 years since we first tied the knot in secondlife and we were to do it for real

I was feeling very excited. Already there were a bustling of activity outside my room, with the cooking and my family and relatives going about. I kept myself busy with making the room more “bride-like”.

This is my room with the gift exchange. My mum sewed the bedspread and the curtains!

In the afternoon, my good friend Juli arrived to do my mekap. It was a pact that we did, back in school for her to do my make-up, I saw so much talent in her when she was doing her make up so I booked her, way before I even met my husband.

Hema was there too, to give moral support on my big day. I’m so happy that my two best friends where there and we had loads of girly fun with the mekap and gossiping over things.

And then I was done!

Take a look at the before – totally stoned

And the after – fresh, radiant bride

But we were hurrying for time and and not too long after, it was already time for my solemnization ceremony. While typically, a Malay solemnization would be held at home, I thought that it would be something special to have it at Assyakirin Mosque.

Where did the Y go to?

There were already a number of people there when I arrived. I saw my family and relatives, as well as Mum’s friends who acted as Cart’s side of the family. Cart was already there, sitting at the table across me with my dad, the kadi and the two witnesses.

I was ushered to sit down. Juli and Hema were asked to sit next to me and they were flabbergasted because they did not expect to be my best women and were not dressed up (actually I didn’t realise that I needed one even)

Hema : We are so bochup!

The kadi started a prayer and then approached me, asking if I agreed to the marriage – which is a final question to ensure that I wasn’t forced into it.

And then I signed my freedom singlehood away

And then it was Cart’s turn.

The Kadi told Cart of his responsibilities as a husband. Then my dad grasped Cart’s hand and gave me away and Cart had to recite the akad nikah and end it with a firm hand shake.

Cart’s beard is very ticklish

And so it was official! Cart and I were officially married! There were a flurry of congratulations, picture taking, video taking …

There were so much flash that we were like celebrities with the amount of people asking to take a picture with us, hehehehe

Here is a short video of our solemnization

When we reached back home, we had a marhaban singing for us. And after enjoying the music, the first thing that I did as a wife, was to pass out on the bed

• Part 1 – The ROMM Interview
• Part 2 – The Marriage Guidance Course
• Part 3 – The Solemnization
• Part 4 – The Wedding Dinner
• Part 5 – The Bersanding

Last Saturday was actually the first time that I celebrated San Valentino with Cartcart due to the both of us being in a long distance relationship for the past four years. It was a simple date, just the two of us spending time together in Trastevere and then watching a movie.

Rinaz with the poet Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli

We watched the curious case of Benjamin Button. Granted that it was in Italian, nevertheless I still enjoyed the movie as well as Cart’s company for the entire day.

Il curioso caso di Benjamin Button

In any case, if you are in Italy around San Valentino, it would be hard not to notice Baci Chocolates for sale. There are so many of them in different sorts of packaging – some wrapped with flowers, some with bears, some are even in lock shapes.

Baci means Kisses in Italian

And this reminded me of the day when Cart and I visited Ponte Milvio a few years ago.

Ponte Milvio is an interesting place where you could see a plentiful of locks on each lamppost. And if you look carefully, on each lock will be the name of a pair of couple.

There is a custom here where you write your name as well as your partner’s name on the lock. Secure the lock on the lamppost and throw the key away in the Tiber River below so that your relationship can never be broken.

I’m still a little cynical about the whole thing, but ah, its for the charm of it all. For those who are not too near to Rome, you might want to do it online! Try to spot my lock near the yellow lights.

So, how did you spend your Valentine’s day?

Sidenote : I think I’m getting used to learning Italian now. Previously I felt like vomitting when I went for class, today I just feel ill

This trend was a concern for the Muslim organization bodies in Singapore such that for the past 15 years or so, they implemented a compulsory marriage preparatory course for all Muslim marriages in Singapore to prepare and educate future marriages for the prevention of divorces.

Recently, I’ve attended and completed the marriage preparatory course at the Assyakirin Mosque. Prior to this, I did not realise that it was mandatory till only recently. I assumed that that the course was for knowledge for keeping a happy marriage. Thus, I did not have much expectations.

When I attended my first lesson, early Sunday morning, I was greeted by the staff-helpers at the mosque and was handed a schedule, a bridal magazine as well as the course textbook. I flipped through the textbook and though it was not thick, it looked comprehensive with the different modules laid out.

In my book, there were 8 modules altogether which was presented and discussed in depth by our various coaches from Kasih Sejati.

1. Personality analysis
2. Knowing the in-laws, money matters and wedding plans
3. Understanding solemnization and responsibilities of a wife and husband
4. The meaning of love, sex and intimacy
5. Challenges during marriage
6. Preparing for a family
7. Communication and the language of love
8. Conflict and resolution

I thought that the lessons were interesting and I realised at how unprepared I was before. I learnt a fair bit of information which I think will be useful in preparing myself for my future.

The entire course ended with each of us writing a love letter for our partners with words of affection, hopes and encouragement for our future. I thought that was very sweet.

I found out later that it was a requirement for all Muslim Marriages to be certified with a marriage preparatory course certification regardless of what nationality they are. Hence Cart arrives here in Singapore in December, we’ll be taking it together before our solemnization.

I think it will be a learning experience for the both of us.

Have you heard of the marriage preparatory course before? What do you think of it?

Related links :

• Steps in appying for a Muslim Marriage in Singapore
• Kasih Sejati training center
• Find statistical data regarding Singapore
• Assyakirin Mosque website

This is heartbreaking because I miss him tremendously and I feel miserable. But after a while, I was inspired to do a montage of our happy times together :)

Make it with you from rinaz on Vimeo

I love the way he smiles and looks at me. It warms me.

After the pizza outing and that everyone has left, I started to feel my emotional turmoil again. And the floodgates opened. All these while, I’ve always felt sad when we had to say our goodbyes, but this time round, the feeling of sadness was more intense than ever, that it caught me by surprise. My eyes hurt and felt swollen as I went on my journey home.

Friday, 4 Jan 2008

After I left work for the day, I parked my scooter in the carpark near the Bed and Breakfast. When I arrived, Cart took out the last pack of pasta that my aunt has kindly made for him and asked me to join him for a late lunch. I was surprised as I would have been too hungry to wait for anyone. He said that he preferred to eat with me than eating alone. I thought that that was kind of sweet :)

It may not look good, but it tastes absolutely delicious!

After our lunch we decided to take the scooter to head to Sim Lim Square. We proceeded to the carpark and I was just about to rummage in my handbang to find my keys when my eyes scanned the scooter box. And my eyes went completely opened wide. Kind of like what you see in this picture below.

My keys were in the scooter box!

How could I have left it in there!?

Someone could have just taken the keys and rode away with my beloved scooter!

I must have been extremely stressed out. It was disconcerting.

Cartcart tried to calm me down and I realised how lucky I was that the scooter wasn’t stolen.

At length with Cart safely behind me, before heading to Sim Lim, we first stopped by to have coffee at Geek Terminal. It was open! We were finally here! I told Cartcart that Geek Terminal was the place where I believe serves very good coffee.

I didnt drink all that, this was what my friends had the last time we were at Geek Terminal

Here was what Cartcart had to say :

Coffee in GT from rinaz on Vimeo

After our coffee, we then continued our journey and rode past Tekka Market and I parked my scooter in an area somewhere near Chinatown and in a short time, we had a leisurely walk to Sim Lim Square.

Sim Lim Square is a famous center for electronic gadgets. It was interesting seeing Cartcart there. As we both loved electronic gadgets, we were going about different stores peering and examining anything that caught our eye.

Eventually, after comparing the prices, Cart decides to get  the Creative Zen. He looked quite pleased at himself after finding out that it was duty free. :)

The gadget was spiffy. I’ve been enamored over it after seeing the guys over at Tech 65 do a review over it. I tried getting Cartcart to buy one for me too but he said no. Instead he said, “I’m getting you something else.” I stared quizzedly at him and he continued, “where is the nearest jeweller here? I want to buy you a ring”

OOH!!!

I was most excited that my mind couldnt compute momentarily. I called up my good friends Geri and Juli to ask them if they knew of any jeweller in the vicinity.

Geri adviced us to head to Parco Bugis Junction as there were a number of Jewellers there. So we walked around and sure enough, there were about 5 jewellers side by side.

We walked into one of them. It definitely was an interesting experience being with Cartcart in a jewellery shop. I asked gingerly about their engagement rings. Already in my mind I knew that I wanted. A simple but classic solitaire set in yellow gold.

And the man at the counter showed us a collection of beautiful and exquisite rings. But I didnt want any of them, they were all white gold.

So we tried going to the other jewellers, Goldheart, Lee Hwa, Soo Kee, Meyson, Citigems. And it was all the same. None of them carried yellow gold with them.

One of the goldsmith helpfully adviced us to go back to Chinatown to see if there were any jewellers there.

So we headed back to Chinatown. By then, there were a number of street buskers around. It was fascinating to see them. One of the performers were doing a beautiful piece of calligraphy using his mouth.

That was when we stumbled upon a jeweller as we passed by and I noticed yellow gold in their display case!

But when looked at their designs, I did not really liked it. The designs looked much too garish and what made it worse was that they were all very tight! Suddenly I felt very self conscious of my body type. After a while, I found one that could fit me. Vehemently, not wanting white gold and with little time left, I looked at Cartcart and said, “I think I could learn to like this one.” Cart looked at me and asked, “Are you sure?” I just nodded my head and he proceeded to take out his card.

That was when the goldsmith shook his head and said, cash only please.

we were crestfallen. Eventually, the both of us left the shop quite dejectedly.

cart : I still would like to give you a ring

rinaz : Lets go back to parco, I dont really like white gold, but I can live with it

cart : Ok. lets go

We decided to walk by the other street as we both did not want to walk in Bugis Street where it would definitely be crowded by this time. That was when suddenly, out of nowhere, pops out a man out of a jewelery shop. It was Taka Jewellery. I wasn’t very optimistic. I was sure that it would be the same as the others.

Man : Hello! Would you like to come in?

Cart : Do you have yellow gold?

Man : Oh yes we do!

And just like that, I saw the ring that I wanted. A simple solitaire set in yellow gold. It was perfect! We were both pleasantly surprised at our find.

Later on Cartcart took the ring and slipped it to my finger, and proposed. Of course I said yes! :)

We had a quick vegetarian dinner at one of the hawker center where I had the yummiest spring roll ever. For a vegetarian one, I was impressed at how flavourful it was that I went back for seconds, even though I wasnt hungry.

We went back to the scooter where I found out that my cashcard was stolen! I had forgotten to take it out of the IU-unit and someone swooped to steal it. Thats twice the blunder that I did today. I was in extreme stress that I could not even think properly.

I was so upset with myself.

We rushed back to the bnb to grab his luggage before grabbing a cab to the airport. The cabbie was cheerfully chit chatting with us, when we almost reached the airport, both of us were amazed by the long queue of taxis at the airport. The taxi driver said that he had to wait about 3 hours once while waiting in line for a passenger.

As soon as we reached there, I began to feel very sad. I dont think we spent enough time together. I really didnt want cartcart to go.

But in no time, he was in the ticketing queue and then I reluctantly let him go and waved while he disappeared off in the boarding hall. And my heart just shattered. In front of everyone, I started to have tears rolling down my cheeks. I just couldn’t help myself …

Aftermath

Its been about 3 weeks now that he’s left. Of course I do miss him alot. But life goes on. I guess I’m very lucky in that we both want to make this relationship work.

So for the moment, I’ll just try to keep being positive and hang on in there. And we’ll be planning our wedding this coming December. But as much as just thinking of the expenditures and the planning makes me stressed out, I cant wait to become Mrs Cartcart :)

Cartcart, I love you very much. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being the way you are. Thank you for loving me :)

In this series :

• Part 1 : His arrival
• Part 2 : Of first lessons and I am legend
• Part 3 : Of science center and yummy spagetti too
• Part 4 : Gorgeous sounds of the handbells
• Part 5 : Meeting the aunt
• Part 6 : My classmate 10th year reunion
• Part 7 : Not enough time at the Singapore Zoo!
• Part 8 : Cart’s big day
• Part 9 : Of heavenly chocolate and earthly pizza