Living overseas, gets easier in time

It’s close to 3 years now that I’ve been living here in Rome. For me, I think that’s the amount of time to really get used to living here. The first few months was probably the hardest, being all homesick, missing friends and family. It’s not so much about the language barriers, but the sense of loneliness that kills you.

I can completely relate to Carrie when she was in Paris and happened to walk past a bar with 4 friends laughing and having a moment together.

Even now, sometimes I miss spending time with my besties Jules and Hema. We went to school together, and since then, we’ve done a lot of activities together, and so there are loads of memories. It could have been the simplest type of meet, but it’s the company makes it joyful.

It might take a shorter time for others to integrate, but for me, I needed time to assimilate and really feel like, “This is my home. This is my life,” instead of it feeling like a long stay-away. Which is probably what the mentality of a number of people that I’ve met here, have. They know that they are not going to stay here long term and eventually go back to where they came from. But it’s different for someone who’s married to an Italian.

It’s hard to abandon the metaphorical tree that I’ve sowed and start on a new one. And it took quite some time, but I finally have close friends whom I can confide and hang out with. It doesn’t feel so lonely anymore.

And I feel so amazed that it was just about a week or two ago when I’ve felt like I’m stuck in a rut, missing my financial independence. But now I’m getting more work opportunities. What I’m doing right now, is not my dream job, but at least I feel wanted and that my skills are not stagnating.

I feel like I’ve a more social life now, about twice a week I hang out with the people at the centro sociale, where there are quite a number of interesting activities held there. It’s a fun, stress-less, non judgemental place just to bond with others with a mutual activity.

I’ve been taking better care of myself, exercising more and watching what I’ve been eating (more or less) and I’m increasingly happier with I look at the figure in the mirror. I’ve went past my pre-wedding weight now and just a couple of kilograms more to my ideal BMI!

All these small things makes me feel motivated and I feel blessed. Things are looking up. It seems as if my new tree is growing healthily. And if there are anyone who’s just migrated in a new country like how I did, just hang on in there. It will get better.

5 Replies to “Living overseas, gets easier in time”

  1. It must be really tough to restart from zero and to be far away from you dearest ones..and also to renounce to your financial independance for an undetermined time. I wonder how it would feel if I was in your, or in Sally’s shoes. Congratulations to you both for taking this choice and (I hope) to feel this place a little bit more sounding like home!

    1. Thanks! 🙂

      I tend to think that Cart would feel the same way too, missing his friends and family. Also Cart appreciates Rome a lot, and his lifestyle here. So I would understand if the reverse would happen to him.

      But then again, men have a stronger defence to nostalgia as opposed to women, in my opinion.

  2. I totally understand the experience you’re going through. Anyone put in a different environment than he/she is used to will get acclimatised over time. As human beings, we are very good at adapting, as you (and I !) have shown. The timing though is different for everyone. I’ve lived in Japan for 11 and a half years. It took me a years to really feel genuinely at home, and a real sense of belonging and comfort, only when Wilkie started school. His daily school routine, the playgroups he goes to and then with Fredi now to look after, sets the rythm in motion and based on these factors, I feel there is a purpose. After all, life is you what you make of it, wherever that is. And then I’ve heard stories about returnees having issues adapting back to the countries they grew up in. I don’t know how I’ll adapt back to Singapore after being away for so long!

    Well done to you, you’ve done really well In Italy 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words Wati, a lot of people tend to think of how lucky it is for women who marries and migrates overseas, but it does come with a price of having to start life all over again which isn’t an easy and glamorous as people would think. I’m glad that you’re starting to feel at home in Japan. I bet it was a huge challenge for you, with the culture shock and having to find friends and find friends all over again.

      There’s always the ease of internet now, but it’s still not the same you know? But I do hope that we don’t have issues adapting back to living in Singapore!!! How do you mean?

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