I was walking to my in-laws house when I saw this and immediately I felt a strong emotion in me.
This was a flyer of a man offering his services in teaching computer applications. And that is something that I’m very familiar with.
Its been a while since I left my workplace while in Singapore. I used to be attached to different schools where one of my tasks was to teach students on how to use computer applications. While it can be as stressful as trying to wrangle 40 rhinos at the same time, at the end of the day, it felt very fulfilling to me when the kids say, “Hey Ms Marina! Thank you for teaching me video editing, it really helped me in my project” or “Ms Marina! Can you show me how to do animations? I think its fun to play with”
And you know what? I really miss all that. That’s probably why I’ve held on for over 5 years being a multimedia educator.
Unfortunately, Italy doesn’t recognize my certifications (it is disconcerting to know that Singaporean certs aren’t valid in a lot of parts of the world) And while I’m a lot better than last year, I’m still not fluent in Italian. And this frustrates me. Because, I know I can do everything the man advertised and even more at the back of my hand.
And of course, one of the biggest motivation is moolah. Certainly the money would be very useful in contributing my to my whims. After earning my own money for many years, it just feels wierd having to depend on Cart. I like having new shoes, bags and other frivolous but pretty things. But being on a single income, I feel that I should be more responsible in how I spend it. And though Cart never complains, I don’t want to be a burden.
I’ve countless of people always telling me things like, “Oh you should open a restaurant and cook Malay food!” or “Why don’t you open a business importing Asian goods to Italy, I’m sure there is a market there”. I know these people mean well, and I love you guys, but I’m sorry, but its one thing to say and another in doing. Especially I’ve no experience in this sort of thing. If you really believe that I can do that, and have the confidence that I can sustain from this, you should give me step by step directions on what to do instead of giving me your vague daydream.
I probably could try to be a part timer and teach kids and young people to learn English, or be a nanny, but I just am not feeling it. Moreoever, it really stung when I read a classifieds online (don’t think the ad is still there though) asking for a English teacher who speaks English but she must only be from Australia, America, Canada and UK. What? Only people from these 4 countries can speak English? It sickens me.
Moreoever, asking me to do something that I have no passion in. It is like asking say, Michaelangelo to be a plumber. He could probably be even good at it, but everyone knows that he is meant for this greatness.
As such, I feel I am meant for my own greatness. I have so much to share and contribute. So why do I feel like I am not given a chance?
I feel so disheartened. And yet, I feel so motivated at the same time. Isn’t it wierd?
Sorry for the emoistic post, but I just felt like I needed to vent.