How do LDR work?

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pic of a yellow chrysanthemum.jpg

How do they do it? The people in successful long distance relationships, having their ‘happily ever after’. What makes it so easy for them to just jump into a whole new world?

I feel like I’m in the middle of the road, stuck and unable to move forward. I can’t jump like these people. Maybe it is because of my deep attachment here, to my family, my friends … I’d be leaving life as I know it.

But at the same time, I don’t think I can stand seeing him just once every 6 months – To feel so happy when I am with him but comes pure anguish when its time to leave. My heart breaks and a part of me dies.

It’s a horrible feeling and it doesn’t take valentines day to remind me that my partner isn’t here with me. I think about it every single day. There are some moments when I feel so lonely and helpless that I lie sobbing in bed.

I am amazed at how painful it can feel. I never imagined that this feeling could be so powerful, almost physical. And sometimes I wonder how it would be like if we never met, perhaps we won’t have this heartache that we are feeling right now.

But then again, if we never met, we’d never experience our love and care for each other.

Long distance relationship isn’t the easiest relationship to be in. Many of them don’t work out in the end. Some of these couples find it extremely challenging. How do a person tend a relationship when the partner is so far away?

The thing that I have right now is hope. But I want for us to move forward. But I don’t seem to see any paths ahead … Every route seems so hazy in front of me.

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17 thoughts on “How do LDR work?”

  1. Hey, I live in jurong too! And am in a LDR. Its been 15 months now and things have gotten a bit worse. Since his mum don’t like me …

    It hurts like hell.
    But you can’t leave.

    Whatever it is, I pray success for the both of you. Hang in there! ^_^

  2. I guess you’ll have to talk to my brother then. He’s in a LDR too (without any computerised communication) and he seems okay with it so far.

    I guess you just need to have faith and lots and lots of patience. I am a very impatient person but at least now I know patience can be cultivated.

  3. Hani

    Hi Hani, thanks for dropping by my blog. His mum doesnt like you? πŸ™ *hugs* Why doesnt she like you? If it isnt too personal.

    Yes it hurts doesnt it, it gets painful. : But thanks for the prayers … I hope for all the best for you and pray for the two of you πŸ™‚

    Miza

    How long has your brother been in LDR? I dont know much about guys, they dont seem to show their emotions so openly like women do, so they seem more okay with it.

    Faith and patience, is important. I agree. *long sigh*

  4. been in it once and you know how mine went. but hey, that was mine. i’m sure you both will make it somewhere together someday.

    having lots of hope might also be helpful during the down days, just as long as you don’t get too hopeful… at least you know you’ve come this far. *pats you on the shoulder*

  5. Lets just say it all start with project postcard (the one where u get to invite yr penpal and if he wins he wins a trip to Singapore.) The mum found out and was so against it because 1, I’m not of their race (he’s frm a country thats full of pride) and 2, I might steal her baby boy away frm him. =_=

    I have to say the biggest downside of a LDR have to be not able to slam the door or the phone down. Somehow signing off from MSN abruptly just does not give the same feeling. =P

  6. wat abt ldr wit someone who doesn speaks only Italian and no internet accessibility??!!! I tink I’m in a worse situation….don b too sad k marina..cos whenever ur sad, u remind me of the sadness too ;o(

  7. sorry typo..neway u noe wat I mean…worse part is valentine’s day originates from their country…we’re reminded of it everywhere…sighh..b strong k

  8. Myztika

    I hope so :] *hugs*

    Tini

    And look at you now – So happy with you abang πŸ™‚

    Hani

    Huh? Slam the door? Hahaha! Wow, very diva! I think I can try doing that one day πŸ˜›

    But I do hope everything goes well with you and your guy.

    Miza

    Two years? Patient guy, but maybe guys dont have the same urgency as women do. Most guys.

    Nana

    Alamak. I cant wait for a guy for a thousand years πŸ˜›

    Nari

    You be strong too *hugs* Aiyah, all these love business is so troublesome.

    Sha

    Cute? Uh, ok πŸ˜›

  9. Hi,
    Though I may not have been in a LDR relationship before, but yes, I agree with your friends’ comments, that you must stay strong, believe in yourself and let that trust that the both of you have bulit surpress all feelings of doubt, worries and sadness. Here is a poem dedicated to you:

    Love, sometimes we just don’t understand,
    Though it is a four letter word, combined with feelings of joy,
    We just can’t comprehend.
    Oh, when all things don’t go our way,
    We can only let the memories that we’ve kept for so long assure us,
    of the first time when we met and we were feeling so very coy.

    Sometimes, it is so hard,
    That no matter how,
    I try,
    To tell myself to be strong,
    I can’t,
    I’ll just sob and cry.
    Asking myself, was I so wrong,
    To have made that decision in the first place?

    But, no, I shan’t let these feelings of sadness overwhelm me,
    I’ll rest my case,
    And believe in myself,
    That I wil l be strong,
    That I can and will carry on.
    No matter what tries to put me down,
    I will not be defeated,
    I’ll rise up again,
    And look foward to that day when I shall put on that beautiful gown.

    Hope this poem cheers you up, pardon me for my lousy poetic spirit. =)

  10. Thanks for the poetry vania :]

    Yes, I need patience and trust and faith. It isnt easy because we are human after all. Thats why I have days when I feel emotional as much as I try to be positive. Thats why I feel that most relationships in LDR doesnt work because both parties dont have those essential qualities so I am very respectful of those which do. It isnt an easy challenge.

  11. I agree that it isn’t an easy challenge, but reading your posts and how u’ve inspired many, I believe you’re a v strong woman and although I do not know u in person, I’ll keep u in my prayers. =)

  12. thank for your post! it is really helpful. i am in diferent case, i meet him trought cyber and we have commited to make our Love work! and i am completely and surely it is work!! please support and pray of all of you. Thank you!
    and i have Trust, Faith 100% but patience is still 50%,ugh. But i love him and never let him go!!!! Go On.!!! πŸ™‚

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