A story of a failed online love

Meet my cybersweetie.


complete with corny lines 😛

Some months ago, I wrote about online love. Interacting online can be an interesting experience – it could be fun, but it could be annoying when one meets strange characters.

A long long time ago, back while I’m in Jurong Institute, I used to be active in mirc, there were many strange characters there and one particular character went like this.

ACJCRugbyPlayer: Hi

|rose| : Hi

ACJCRugbyPlayer : I’m a tall, fit and tanned guy. Wanna go out?

|rose| : Uh .. no, I don’t know you

ACJCRugbyPlayer : I want to meet you, you’re so interesting! Do you wear glasses?

|rose| : Why are you asking me this?

ACJCRugbyPlayer : So its date! I’ll see you at Clementi tomorrow at 2pm! Bye!

ACJCRugbyPlayer has logged off

|rose| : Idiot

But anyway, the next day, out of sheer curiosity, I decided to stay back at Clementi, since it was in transit to my bus home. I waited 5 minutes and then 10 and then 15 before I realised that I’ve been stood up.

At first, I got angry. How dare he stood me up! And then I got insecure, Was it because of my zits? And then I went to the bakery and got me a nice slice of blackberry cake and shrugged it up and got indifferent.

At the tender age of 18, I learnt one of life’s biggest lesson … which was to “always take things with a pinch of salt”. I quickly forgotten that incident and continued on.

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I discovered Cybertown somewhere in July 2002 and I was really bowled over. It was one of my first experience at an interactive 3D community and I enjoyed it immensely. I also had a culture shock there. There were cyber-families and virtual marriages created faster than one can say Zoroastrianism. I’ve always laughed at people who were in cyber families and virtual marriages because I couldn’t understand why they were in it. It was all such odd make believe and role playing. Fake families. Fake. Fake. Fake. Even the way that they acted made me a little ill. Lets look at this scenario

Act 1
Guy meets girl. Girl meets guy.

Act 2 (5 minutes later)
RandomVirtualGuy: Oh how I love you!
RandomVirtualGirl: I love you too!
RandomVirtualGuy: Lets get married!
RandomVirtualGirl: Oh yes sweetie! Lets get the priests, the church, the invitations …

Act 3
A most beautiful virtual wedding in a lovely VRML created church

Act 4 (A week later)
RandomVirtualGirl: You *%(&#$. I hate you!
RandomVirtualGuy: You’re such a (&#$
RandomVirtualGirl: I want a divorce!
RandomVirtualGuy: Fine!
RandomVirtualGirl: Fine!

And this scenario

A 30 something woman: Hi mommy! *snuggles up to mommy*
Another 30 something: Hello hun {{{{{nick}}}}} your dad’s not home yet.
Woman1 : Look what I got for you mommy! *bounces around*

I realise that there was a need for escapism, but I found that it was a bit too much for me to digest. I decided to explore some nice and quiet worlds. I went to the virtual mall for a moment to see some of the VRML items that were being sold. That was where I met G. We said our hellos to each other and then said our goodbyes a few minutes after.

I met him again, in another store and jokingly, I said to him “We must be playing hide and seek with each other, we seem to always be bumping with each other”.

And from then onwards we became friends. We spent time together and got to know each other. In time, I began to be attracted to his gentle and caring demeanour. He would be there to listen whenever I had a problem and gives me motivation when I needed it. He was really sweet.

  • Hey G, I just got a job in a school called West Spring, can you believe it?
  • Wow, thats great! I’m happy for you
  • Things are looking up for me!

He’d invite me to his virtual home and I admired the way that he decorated his home. To me, the way one furnishes and crafts their home shows their personality. He had simple yet warm and comfortable furnishing. And I saw that he actually had a painting that I created hanging on his wall. I was so flattered. Some while later, he even created a vrml doll dedicated to me and I was bowled over.

After a few months, I realised that I really liked him. A lot. And I cared for him so much. I was smitten! And I was happy that he felt the same way too. The days turned into months, we were really happy, just being in each other’s company.

And then, one day, he disappeared.

One day. Then a week. Then a month.

I was nervewrecked! What happened? Where did he go? Is he alright? Is he still alive? What happened to him?

I asked a mutual friend, if he could help me. He called up the local jail and the hospital there and reassured me that he wasn’t in either of these places, so he couldn’t have been locked up, or hospitalised or worse, dead.

I still worried for him though. And some while later, he turned up. Said that he was having computer problems and couldn’t get online. I had so many questions in my head … Why didn’t he use a cybercafe or a neighbour’s computer to drop me a message? But I was just too happy to see him again. And then things went on as normal.

We professed our love for each other, explored worlds together and just enjoyed each other’s company. And I felt so loved.

And then he disappeared again. One week passed by. A month. And then six. I felt that I’ve lost him forever. I was angry and deleted every email that he’s sent me, deleted all of his pictures and tried to delete every memory of him.

In a way, that helped me cope. It doesn’t hurt when one doesn’t remember. At length he returned again and tried to contact me. I was still upset and didn’t want to talk to him any more but now I’m slowly opening up again. But it’ll never be the same.

G, I’m not angry with you anymore. But I hope you understand if I tend not to talk to you, or may seem aloof. We had the most beautiful dream but in the way, the dream just faded away. And I truly did love you but I guess if the situation was a little different, our story would have been a little different. I wish for nothing but the best for you… You are a lovely man.

Part 3 and final installation coming up. Need to get ready for my brother’s Basic Millitary Graduation Ceremony right now

Discrimination, discrimination, discrimination

Every now and then, I’d use the random blogger header to surf over to different blogs when this made me quite upset. I’m usually reticent about this matter, however (amazingly) the writer brought a rise in me. Because of what she sees and reads the mass media, she condemns the entire Islamic religion. Its blatant religious intolerance and plain discrimination.

Its bad enough we have such a bad reputation because of these deranged extremists who cant get it in their thick skull that they are actually HURTING their religion rather than embrace it. Islam is a peaceful religion of tolerance. Islamic prophets has never laid a finger on a woman, neither ever used violence. So why are these extremists using religion for their own personal gains? It has never been in Islamic nature to be destructive.

Its a kick in the face

I was pretty sure that there would always be people who’d rather be stuck viewing the world in their own point of view not realising that there are always other side of the story.

One doesnt have to travel all the way Gitmo, or Pakistan to witness discrimination. It happens right here in Singapore although never to an extreme level. Malays are lazy, Chinese are money grubbers, Indians are smelly… Wake up! NOT EVERY PERSON IS LIKE THAT!This is a stereotype! Just because you meet a few bad apples, why are you generalizing the entire masses? Its such a bigoted view that I’m amazed …

But truth be told, the fact of life would be that dicrimination happens because people see the difference in skin, in speech, in the different choices one embraces … Unless the entire world is homogeneous, there will always be discrimination.

People will say what they want to say. But as a Malay saying goes “Berani kerana benar” … The truth shall set us free

A lovely day spent with Zila

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I had a lovely day yesterday and I was glad that I went out 🙂

Zila sms’ed me in the morning and asked me out for a chat and to watch a fashion show. I was a little hesitant to go out as I was a little dry, and just wanted to moan and lounge around, and be depressed at home.

But then again, I thought to myself, why not? I could take some pictures while I’m at it too. So we decided to meet up at Jurong East Mrt Station and the first thing I saw about her was that she rebonded her hair and it looked very straight. I liked it, she looked really pretty with her new hair-do. I’ve never seen her with her regular hair though as ever since I’ve seen her at work, she has always bunned it up, so I can’t really compare.

We chatted all the way during the train ride to Orchard, and talked about work, her going to Australia for her vacation, and laughed about some matters. I hope we didn’t annoy the people who shared our cabin. I’m impressed by her enthusiasm and her outlook in life. For someone who was just 19, there is a lot of energy about her.

The first time that I met Zila was during the office meeting. Zila was an ex colleague from the previous company that I worked for. She’s really cool to me. I didn’t really had a big impression of her the first time I talked to her as we didn’t really have much chance to interact. I only got to know her better when she was posted to West Spring and we managed to talk more.

She’s an amazing girl. I learnt that she was the captain of the National Women’s Soccer association. And she sings in a band, and she also tutors primary school kids in mathematics and English. Very impressive right? I don’t think I could manage all those activities. I think I’ll faint trying to cope with all that.

Anyway, Zila’s friend tells us that the place was located at Muhammad Sultan road and the fashion show starts at 6 pm so we decided to have lunch first.

We walked to Far East Plaza shopping complex. We managed to see this really impressive looking car. I don’t know what type of car it was, but I liked it. Would be nicer if it was green.

We went up to the fourth floor and had lunch at the corner of the Cahaya foodstall and had rojak which Zila said was the best rojak that she ever had. It was good rojak . So much so that we completely forgotten about taking a picture of it.

We walked around Far East Plaza and stopped to do some window shopping along the stretch of road, and then headed down the shaw house and saw a toy fair there, while Zila was looking at some dolls, I chanced upon this adorable little girl who was playing with some toy puppies. How cute she was. I could just pick her up and give her a hug, but I feared that her parents would beat me up to a pulp seeing a stranger carrying off their daughter. Just look at her 🙂

We then went to Wheelock place as Zila wanted to see some birkenstocks shoes. I didn’t quite liked the shoes there, it was much too expensive for such a simple shoe. 300 dollars for a pair of sandals … bleh. We went upstairs and saw an interesting shop that sold items completely for scrapbooks. I’d love to make a scrapbook, maybe I could do one since I’ve got the time now.

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There was a photography gallery there too, sponsored by epson and I looked at the works done by Ken Seet, Derrick Lim, Geoff And and Tay Kay Chin. Looks great.

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The gallery was entirely done in black and white, and somehow the monochromatic tone of the images, seem to give it more expression and feel. I liked it.

Zila and I saw a hairdressing shop and saw a little car inside it, and I thought how ingenious it was, to have a car for kids to play in while the hair dresser cut the kids’s hair. Zila wondered if the hair would be loopsided or crooked that way. We went down to borders bookshop for a while to find a street-directory to find out where the location of the place was.


The city was extremely crowded, in the Saturday afternoon. We had to wiggle our way through the area.


And then we walked past the wisma atria, and crossed over to the paragon and saw Kym Ng doing a show. I’m not too sure what the show was about, since I don’t watch Chinese shows, but I think it was the matchmaking show in which she plays cupid and interviews a random girl in the street to see what type of partner that she was looking for and see if she is able to fulfil the girl’s requirements as I read in 8 days, a local magazine, a while back.

We walked past a makeover counter where some make-up artists made over some girls with their make up range. I was tempted to try it out too, except for the fact that I didn’t fancy using nor buying the Fasio brand make up. It seemed too thick and since I had an extremely oily face, I am hesitant to try clogging looking make-up. Some of the girls looked really nice and I admired the colour of the artist’s eye-shadow.

We then walked to Somerset and took the bus 123 to head to Clemenceau Avenue. By then, it was already 5.30 pm

Zila said that the location was in Double-O, which was in Mohammad Sultan Road. I asked the bus driver if it was the right stop. And he nodded his head affirmatively and pointed to the direction where we were supposed to walk to. I told Zila, if we can’t trust the bus driver, who can we trust eh?

Unfortunately, we weren’t sure of the area so much, so we walked to merbau road, then headed to Nanson road, that is where we had a stroll at the lovely riverside. We even had time to view the gallery at the Singapore Tyler Print Institute.

We then realised that we were quite lost and decided to retrace our steps. But then we were quite tired, and stopped by the EU Square shopping centre for a quick drink and a seat to rest our tired feet. I didn’t want to drink at the shops around the area, as I knew it was going to be expensive. However we didn’t even see one drink stall there! There wasn’t even one fast food restaurant! However, there was a little supermarket upstairs where I bought a drink and a box of Baci Chocolates.

We sat down at the ledge of the corner of unity street and muhammad sultan road and then, walked past river wing. At this time, I was extremely grateful that I wasn’t wearing heels. I think I would have screamed by then, it was quite tiring. I wasn’t a young spritely 19 year old like Zila any-more 😛

Then we sensed that it wasn’t the right direction as it seemed all wrong. We asked one of the waitress there and she pointed to the direction.

Guess what?

It was right there, beside where the ledge where we sat to have our drink and rest. Why we never noticed the building was strange to me. We peered at the Double-O entrance. It seemed empty with no one inside. By the time we were there, it was already 7 pm. How could a fashion show be an hour only? Zila called her friend up and he told her that it actually ended at 6 pm!

That annoyed Zila and me to no end. Zila said that she would do something nasty to her friend. I rubbed my hands and asked her if I could go watch too .. hehehe

Anyway, by this time, we decided to enter the courtyard anyway since we made such a huge effort trying to FIND the place and we were quite tired. Zila found her brother’s friend there. We went to a Turkish/Italian restaurant and had a seat and ordered some food.

A chat with the guy revealed that the fashion show actually started at 7.30 pm! So Zila’s friend was actually mistaken. ROFL! I could see that Zila had an evil thought hatching in her mind. I just wondered what it was.

I turned around in my seat and saw that the courtyard was actually next to the Singapore Repertory Theater! I can’t believe we went around the area at least 3 times, back and forth just trying to find the place when it was just here. Oh. My. Goodness.

The guy also said that it wasn’t actually a fashion show, but more like a dance showcase of the Mediterranean.

We ordered Pizza Margherita, which was a simple pizza made of tomatoes, cheese, basil, olive oil … no toppings since Zila and I felt a little sick of the street and junk food that we snacked on along the way. The mixed berry drink that I got, I thought was delicious. The pizza was delicious too. I’d love to show Juli and Hema and Geri here, its really lovely here. And the ambience is great too.

There was a guy in ancient Roman clothing, going around asking people if they wanted to have their pictures sketched. Zila bossed the poor guy around.

Don’t draw my face too big!
I don’t want my nose flared!
Make sure you draw it nicely or I’ll complain to the manager!

The pictures turned out great, much to Zila’s disappointment. And this was hers.

And this was mine 🙂

There’s a frog in mine, it looked like I was trying to catch the frog … lol

Zila introduced me to Damien, a friend of hers who was working there at the time for the “fashion show”. He did the sound and lighting there and three of us had a chat together. He was a likeable guy, and he seemed to like his job a lot.

Then we decided to play a fool by playing around with the free chopsticks that we had earlier

I thanked Zila for asking me out, it was really a lovely day out and I really enjoyed myself. See marina! Why must you stay and home and be depressed when its so much better to go out. 🙂

We left and said our goodbyes to each other at about 10.30 or so and really, I had a wonderful time. It was a lovely evening and day indeed. Would love to do it again 🙂

Adventures in trying to catch the Busker’s Opera

I’ve never thought of myself as a very lucky person in circumstances, but I really had to thank my lucky stars. Someone up there must really love me.

I got ready to go to the Buskers Opera and took the train to the Kallang Mrt Station. Called up Rosdee who was already on his way. I can go to the Kallang theater myself, I thought confidently as I’ve been there before, so it should be a peach to get there.

I walked to the bus terminal and proceeded to take a short cut at the People’s Association building. I walked and walked and finally came to a white metal fence. Eh? When did this place get fenced up? I tried to find the exit but after some time, I gave up. I asked some people there, how do I get out of this place? Just leave through the opening there, its right behind the building.

I walked briskly there and still no exit. I was stuck in the area!

I cursed and sweared under my breath at the boys who told me that the exit was just behind the building. Luckily, a taxi came by and I quickly flagged it. Only 5 minutes to go before the show starts at 8pm.

I ran to the entrance of the theatre and then I found myself tripping and falling! My foot managed to step in a drain! And boy did it hurt that I was stunned for a few seconds.

A concerned passerby asked me if I was alright. I’m fine, really. You’re lucky you didnt break your teeth or something. I guess he was right. It still hurt though, my knees hurt, so did my elbows and my shoulder. I had to limp all the way to the entrance. But I was in time! The doors were just about to close when I was there. Amazing!

The pain still smarted all the way through the show. But oh well, anyways.

The Buskers Opera, directed by Robert Lapage was an interesting show, with the storyline basically going about the life of a man, Macqueath, who was in a band, who seduced many girls along the way.

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I liked the music there, which included many different genres such as blues, jazz, rock, rap, even folk. It was quite enjoyable. It has been a while since I watched the theatre since my secondary school days. It was so much different compared to going to the cinemas as it’s live and you can actually feel every emotion from the actors live as compared to cinemas.

Anyways, I’ll end here for the moment, maybe I’ll update this post in the morning, but right now, I’ve some abbrations to nurse. Boo hoo hoo

My interesting first photography lesson

Sent my resume for a couple of companies, I hope to hear a reply from them, one of the post I was very interested in was the teaching of graphic arts and multimedia to primary and secondary school students. Ever since, I started teaching in secondary schools, I’ve always loved graphic arts and multimedia. I’m definitely most enthusiastic about flash animations. I love the colour and the simplicity of the program.

These are some of the examples that I personally created for some of my lessons

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Not bad for an untrained huh? Well, I’m looking forward to a reply from the company. I’m not really expecting a reply though, but it would be wonderful if I got a call.

I was just surfing through ‘best blogs in asia’ and submitted Marina’s Bloggariffic just for the fun of it, when I stumbled across a particular blog that really caught my eye.

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Maybe it was the really adorable cat banner, or the wonderful images that the creator has posted. I really liked the blog very much. It’s in Malay, and I like her conversational style of writing.

Interesting first time night class I went to yesterday. I took the train to Tiong Bahru mrt and took the bus 195 to reach Radin Mas Community Centre. I wasn’t familiar with the southern part of the area but it was really heartening to see that there were people who was always ready to help when one asks them. 🙂

I met two other people in the course, Kathy, who was a mother who snaps picture for different type of sports and Rudy, a portrait photographer.

We were taught by Faiz, a photographer who has about 10 years of experience, and from his portfolio, has taken many pictures of Asian Celebrities. It looked beautiful, these pictures.

I loved listening to Kathy and Rudy speak, they have such lovely accents and were wonderfully friendly. I think we’re gonna have a great class ahead.

We learnt about the basic parts of a camera, apertures, and shutters and the many different types of cameras that are used in the industry. Faiz, tells us that the lens used for the SLR are very important. He showed us the modular camera too, which was easily interchangeable. But the more I listen to him talk, the more my heart nearly jumped out when he mentioned the costs of the parts of the camera that he uses – 8k for just the lens alone. Ouch. I quite like the tamron lens though, that I used for the photoi excursion.

Anyway, going to end here for the moment, hopefully I’d have time for a run before I head out for the Buskers Opera later tonight.